Ways To Make A Married Man Leave His Wife For You Best Advise

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This advice is from other women with the same experience finding themselves in a difficult relationship with a man who already has a wife. I will explain my own experiences and how it was able to overcome my relationship with a married man.
25p-6461-cheating-wife.jpgWell, if you are reading my post, most likely you are in love with some married guy.. That’s not good. You are in a very difficult situation. Most married guys won’t leave their wife because they are scared to hurt their feelings. It’s especially true if the guy already has kids with her. If they have children, it’s going to be very difficult for him to leave her for you. My advice to you is to just forget about him, leave him alone so he can continue his life with his wife because you are just wasting your time and energy with this dude. Seriously.

There are many ways you can make him leave his wife. The best way would be that (if he really loves you), he will be willing to sacrifice all for you and get a divorce and marry you.. I bet that’s what you want don’t you..? We all want that, but we are just fooling ourselves. Think about this for a minute. Lets say that everything works out between you and him, you guys get married. Do you know what Karma is? Yup,, he'll do the same thing to you, and instead of you being the mistress, you will be the wife who is being cheated on. So stop this nonsense and let him go. Its just going to hurt you even more later. Put yourself in the wife's shoes, how would you feel if you were the wife?

anyways, I am telling you this from experience.. this is what happened to me.

I went out with this guy for almost 5 years.. At first it started as a friendship, but as we got to know each other, My respect and admiration was increased by his strong and brave character. I love smart guys and he was all that I wanted in a man, BUT HE WAS OLDER THAN I. I was very disappointed when he told me he was already married. But I didn’t care much because I knew we were just friends. - That’s all.

So one day, we went to dinner together. Just as friends... That was a mistake! He was so romantic and made me feel really special... :) I really needed someone to treat me like that. All the jerks I had met before were immature. But he was so passionate and romantic. After time, I started to realize I was falling in love with him. I could not stop my heart from falling in love. I asked him not to ask me out anymore, but he keept insisting. hahaha. That’s what I love about him too. He doesn’t give up so easy. I like a man that gets what he wants..

So anywayz, we continued to go out and sleep together. Until after two years, I started to wonder where we were going. I asked him where we are headed. He said he was confused and did not know. But he was very happy with me. Another year passed by and nothing. We kept sneaking out after work and go places together. Even to motels.. By now, I was starting to feel cheap. I felt he only wanted to sleep with me. But I didn’t tell him because I didn’t want to pressure him and lose him.

After 4 years, (I know. im so stupid) I confronted him and told him that I cannot continue like this. So we stopped seeing each other.. I missed him so much. :( I kept thinking about him all the time and I even cried for him every night. Then all of the sudden he calls me and we started the whole thing again.. and yet again, I started to feel used.. This time he said he was thinking about how he would get out of his marriage so he can get marry to me. He kept giving hope, and as a fool, I felt for it. He kept giving me excuse after excuse. He tells me about his wife, she is sick and she is lonely, she doesn’t have her parents and it’s hard for him to leave her.

I woke up one morning and decided I wasn't going to be the second plate for him no more. I had to put a stop to it. I came to realize that he was not going to give up his marriage for me. So I kept giving him excuses after excuse that I could not meet with him.

In my mind, I kept wondering some ways how I can make him my husband. these are Some ideas I came up with...

1. The obvious one was to get pregnant with him. - That is the worst thing you can do. You will just make another life more miserable, so don’t do it

2. Another idea I had was to run away with him - I asked him and he said no

3. Ok, I said to myself, well, if I can't have him, then no one will. I was ready to confront him at his house. I was going to go to his house and talk to him while his wife was at home. I knew that if his wife found out about us, she was going to divorce him.. So I did. Oh boy, it was a big mistake. When the wife found out about it. She cried and cried. I felt so horrible. He screamed at me and told me to go away. My heart was so broken. I had never felt so disappointed. I went home crying and I vowed never to see him again.

It’s been 6 years now since that happened to me. And now that I have time to reflect on my experience I realize that there are more women in my situation.

So my advice to you my dear, if you are involved with a married man, you are making a big mistake. He will not leave his wife for you. Unless he is already divorce and done with his wife, he will continue to be with her and you will just be another of his sides.. Don’t fall in this trap

I know it’s not what you want to hear. You probably want some magic way to make him be with you all the time. But unfortunately there is none. Let him go. If he is meant for you, he will come to you. But don’t accept him if he is still married. Otherwise, you will fall into the same hole I was and you will just be wasting your time.

I know its going to hurt at the beginning when you break it up. But trust me. After one month after you don’t see him, you will start to feel better and you are going to wondered how you could ever fall into something like this. When you are in love and it hurts, the worst thing you can do is to listen to music. Don’t listen to songs at all, because they will just remind you of him. So don’t listen to music for a whole month. And you will see, it works.

I hope my experience has helped you. If you are going through already, please, tell me your story. I would like to learn from you so we can all help other girls out there who might be in the same situation and they can learn from us

Thanks to all the women who have replied. Special thanks to Pam. Read Pam's comments below, she will open your eyes!

Please tell me your situation, i would like to learn from you.

IT'S NOT WORTH IT! I've had a relationship with a married man for over a year. I admit it was a memorable experience, we had beautiful and exciting moments together. But you know what, I LOVE MYSELF and I can't allow him to treat me like an option because I believe that I deserve to be someone's priority! I told him that I can't continue being his mistress anymore and we should get back to being good friends..platon friends. Ladies, hear this... if a married man truly loves you, he will leave his wife for you. He will do anything to have you. He will spend the rest of his life with you. And he will respect you as a woman. Well now, this married man and I are still friends. If he loves me and wants me, then he has to prove it first. I DESERVE TO BE NUMBER ONE!
totally agree with Pam. i am also in current situation and Long Distance Relationship. my bf is now tying for separation and not having love with his wife (he said his ex) as we both agree to have faith and loyal each other. so he did not have love with her about 8 months and last week he got drunk and she was forcing to have love. Now he said he felt guilty about it. they are together for 40 years but his wife was the one who started cheated on him with having affair with his best friends and she still cannot cum with my bf. within 40 years of marriage life she only cum once with my boyfriend. So why she blamed now to my boyfriend (her husband) about our affair?
hi i am a girl can you please contact me on my email address i would like to talk to you about the same situation i am going through. thanks
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I third that Pam! Every woman deserves to be Number 1 in a mans life and you should NEVER settle for less!!!! Walk away and if he truly loves you he will find a way to be with you, only you!

Break the chains and put yourselves first for a change!
If the guys has kids, I don't care how much he loves you . . . If he is a stand up decent guy and a good father . . . HE WILL NOT LEAVE for you, the marriage is secondary in most cases. In many instances its more about the kids than the wife, you can't fault them for that can you ? So what's a girl to do, make him choose ? It won't be you honey, I guarantee that.
we'll i was the wife and he cheated on me with a girl that was our friend and she 8yeara younger they got married now they getting a divorce him and i get along great now we have three kids. when he was cheating i stoped talking to any of my friends that were girls i hated them all and don't to this day trust men y best friends husband became my best friend and he was my rock well one night when she was i. the hospital he was at our house hanging out and we were jokeing around and ended up having # s e x this became a regular thing mostly bc we would all go out and his wife would stay home or she said she did he was the first one to tell me he loved me and i said i loved him to but i was never goin to be able to trust him bc of my ex . well the wife had been cheating on him for bout 2 years bfor this happened with us and he found out . they have been married for 11years and together for 17 . this all happened whith us 6 and 1/2 years ago a lot has happend he hasn't left her swears he loves me and i'm the one we have had a misscaraige he loves my kids as his own my ex and him r best buds the part u will laugh at is we live together me him is wife my kids. i've known him almost my whole life and he said he wanted to be with me when we were teens he says one day he will leave but i know
he won't. i wasp bing out and on with my life and he talked me in to staying with him # silly # me. i yea and his wife has at least 5 other guys she hooks up with. she knew bout us but now she thinks we r over we do everything together bc she don't like to to anything we do bars. fish. camp so she does her thing
I am in love with a married man whose wife I also know. I knew her for years before him and always felt bad for her husband when I would hear her talk so poorly about him. She is very detached and controlling. She referred him to me as a client 2 years ago, and I am pretty sure it was love at first sight for both of us. I continued to see him at our weekly meetings and never shared my attraction to him since he is after all married. This past Christmas he gave me a beautiful Hermes scarf and I knew that my attraction wasn't one sided. He told me he has been in love with me for over a year and not happy in his marriage. Eventually I told him I feel the same, however I will not have a relationship beyond professional friendship as long as he is married. My father was a married man that dated my mother for 3 years before I was born, and he never left his wife for her. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? I will not be in the same position. If he loves me like he claims and is unhappy in his marriage, then he will have to man up and get a divorce or always wonder what could have been.
I agree with you, if he is not all talk he will man up. But be careful because the grass always looks greener on the other side.
i met him through an internship, i realized very soon that he was into me. i knew he had just gotten married and that his wife was expecting (reason they got married, they were broken up at the time they found out) i moved on to another internship opportunity and i was offered a job at his place of work after 6 months of not seeing him, although we kept in touch. nothing had happened, i knew he liked me and that was all. i took the job, i got along with him extremely well. i finally confronted him about his flirting and told him that i knew he liked me and that i liked him too but i would never do anything about it because he was married. unfortunately this just made things so much worse, as i opened up to him, so did he and i realized just how much we both liked each other. i gave in and we started a relationship (no # s e x though), it probably lasted about a month and a half before his wife found out about me. he told me they had a long talk, that they were splitting up and they agreed to to what was best for their son. she called and texted me to ask me if i had slept with him and i clarified that we hadn't (she didn't believe us of course). he wishes he could leave her but the thought of leaving his son tears him up inside. i can't blame him. apart from that he's being pressured by his dad to make things work for his baby's sake. his dad stayed with his mom through a miserable marriage for him and his sister.

i think she wants to work things out, he states he doesn't care for her anymore. we both love each other deeply but our situation could not be more complex. he's completely understanding of my needs and has told me that even though it would hurt him that i could easily move on and find someone new. i know it would be the smart thing to do, but i just can't. i can't walk away from this and still see him every day at work. i cannot leave my job either that is not an option for now.
i am 24 years old and am in love with a 30 year old married man. before he got married he was my teacher in high school by then i was 18 and he was a second year student at the university. he loved by then but feared to tell me because i was his student. we used to get in touch on facebook and he used to tell me that he loves. at the beginning of this year we decided to meet and talk. so being that he knew me before it wasnt hard for us to sort out everything but he told me he was not married.
after a month of dating i received a call from his wife telling me to leave his husband alone. it was really a blow to me bse he had lied to me. i confronted him but he told me he loves me. 4months down the road he tells me he wants us to have a family and he is planning to buy a house for the two of. i come from a moslem family while he is from a catholic family but he is willing to convert to our religion and stay with the both of us(me and his wife). my biggest worry is that ..will is family
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because of my job i travel allot i met this gentlemen older than myself after dating several younger men and being left with heart broken. we talk everyday and see each other . one day i tried to contact him he did not answer than after several attempts he finally tell me his story after 1 year of dating meeting his growing up sons. he said he is married he cannot leave his wife she had leukemia and can relapse. the other excuse was he has to wait until his children grow up mind you they are 19 and 16 years old. i am very much in love with this man. i decided to break up with him and change my number right now i feel like he is stalking me stating he will leave his wife. i am trying to be strong it is very hard please help
help! i have the same story. we just broke up for the last time after nearly 5 years seeing eachother. a few differences are that we did not start out as friends. we dated when i was in high school. i lost my #innocence# to him and we reunited 25 years later. it's been a torrid affair with many highs and lows. they just celebrated their
27 anniversary, buying a summer house, etc. and although we have
broken up for good hundreds of times
before. this time i know/feel that it's
over. i don't know what to do. i kept having fantasies that he would leave her for me, although he always said he wouldn't. it just seemed impossible to. me that he wouldn't.... but now they just keep getting deeeper and deeper involved with their home life and their family, which he always excluded me from. he has a great life. mine-- not so much. i just feel like he used me all those years to keep his mono flowing in his marriage. i think i'm going to throw up. i wish karma would come around and that he would suffer for everything he put me through instead of me being the one to have suffered for 5 solid years.......it's so unfair
i wanna thank this powerful man call dr solution for helping me bring back my husband that left me and my kids for 8 months, he is a nice and powerful man you can reach him
aww hon i really really feel for you you have given me lots to think about i want to be at the other side like you my situation is a little different but the feelings and thoughts are still the same

i am married and worked with a guy for long time and never thought or felt anything for him i just didn't see him in that light at all ... then one day boom my heart used to race and we both felt a connection and he we looked forward to seeing each other at work he is married with kids also but strangely enough he never talks about his wife in a horrid way he had always told me how happy he was and i was too in my own way to cut a long story short we ended up kissing and nothing major always hugging here and there we both became close messaging every day and talking on the phone and i started developing feelings for him and i fell in love he told me he cares a lot about me but he's not in love with me !
i should have walked away right ? noooo i knew he bent different and we carried on
been in deep love (both of us) for 6 years off and on. off because i do not want to be a mistress and that's the only role he seems to offer unofficially. of course i am his soul mate, has sent me the more beautiful 4 page love letters, meets my every needs, wants to take me everywhere, listens and helps me through tough time with my children, he says that i make him better, that his is more compassionate with others because of me, that he is more understanding and he is more gentle, etc. wants to take me around the world and back on trips. everything...how very much he loves me and he has never loved his wife like he loves me....all the most wonderful offers, except the one which is the right way to be in a relationship. says 2-4 more years after 6 already. i am done and have told him that. when he can offer me a first place position with separation papers in hand, then maybe. i am tired to my heart breaking because i don't fee that he will ever put me in the proper position like he says. and ever if he would, i have to roll the dice for 2-3 more years worried someone will find out so i have to continue to hide cheat and lie. i can't. i won't anymore. he has to love me more than that.
there's no need to get him to leave her...just be his concubine (second wife); let him know you understand he's married, and you're perfectly fine with being his #2. that you'll never give him any trouble but just want to be with him, and be his. the catch is, however, that you really have to mean this, not just try to replace his wife (forget jealousy, it isn't necessary); it is indeed morally upright for a man to have more than one mate.
spell out clearly how you understand this, and he'll never leave you.
the whole world has always been polygnous...we copy roman pagan ideas, and the 1st century jews, as they were hypocrites about it, by taking one wife, then divorcing her to get another, causing a constant stream of heart/homebreaks. you both need an understanding; it is now to be understood that you have a husband, not a boyfriend. so you both actually need to see this clearly, in some way or fashion. this means you count yourself taken, and not available for the attention
it's easy to say for you cause you men enjoy that situation of having two women. did you think for a second about the women especially the one you want to call #2?
i really liked this post.....we chose to get involved with the married man....so it is what it is....they are looking for something they aren't getting in the marriage and we chose to try to fill that void for them....they are not going to leave their wives especially if they have children....so if you love them be there for them...be their escape and let him know that....but you have to make sure you have your own life too.....friends family work....you have to be willing to accept what it is if you love him....and enjoy the time you do get spend together....if not you will lose him because you closed your eyes to reality
Cheating is a sign of EMOTIONAL ABUSE. This is a RED FLAG!! And is very serious. I'd like to see women stand together against this. It hurts because it is BAD. Please know that however wonderful the cheating person you love seems to be, that it is likely his wife is going through a serious depression loving him and hateing him for the same reasons as you. One of the smartest things I ever did was to leave a cheating man. I "let" the other woman have him. That means, I knew him better then her and that was my amo against her, because I knew that if I contacted him he'd still go for it. So I did NOT contact him at all. I let her think she got what she wanted and knew ahead of time her dreams would come crushing down. Of course to this day they are NOT together. It matters that you find a faithful man. You're signing your life away to sadness and misery. There are a billion men in this world. Why the one you with worth emotionally dieing for? He's not doing the same for you. Wheres his blog confessing to the world of his eternal love for you?
Laura, well said. I did the same thing. My fiance cheated and after he said he wanted to work things out and come back (after I kicked him to the other woman), he continued to cheat. It is true that the wife or long term partner knows the cheater so much better than the other woman. A few nights of passion. . .sneaky encounters. . .all of that isn't as much fun when reality sets in and he's sitting on the couch doing nothing while he expects you to take care of him and earn the cash. You might have time for intimacy in the beginning, but once you are busy doing all the work in the partnership, you will see why the wife was so miserable and in turn why the cheater wasn't getting what he wanted. It's not because the wife can't deliver, it's because the cheater doesn't pull his weight and is selfish - hence the cheating. In the end, I too let her have him. One woman's trash is another woman's treasure - or so she thinks. There's also something to be said about the older, wiser wife vs. the younger more naive mistress. The wife has been through it, knows the game. The mistress is new to the game and will find out. We've all been young and not known. And then there's a matter of respect - respect for one's self, the relationship the others are in, and the cheater. If there is any respect, the mistress should tell the cheater to deal with his situation and then get back to her when it's taken care of. In my situation, karma is a wonderful thing since they are now dealing with a domestic violence charge which is something that is sure to add to their budding relationship. He walked out of my life in handcuffs, and straight into hers. I would think that would be a red flag for her, but I guess she likes the idea of being choked when he loses his temper. He's probably manipulated her further into telling her he didn't do anything, which she wants to believe. Cheating is about manipulation and lies. Do you really want something based on manipulation and lies? Or would you rather start fresh with someone that is unattached and have honesty, integrity, strong character, and real love? If the cheater would just focus on the relationship they are currently in, they wouldn't be as miserable as they let on. It's about them not taking responsibility. And so the cycle will continue with whomever the cheater's next victim is as long as women continue to allow themselves to fall victim. Laura is correct is stating cheating is emotional abuse. And the cheaters do not care who they are hurting. They lie to you and they lie to their partners. .good luck to us all.
my situation really sucks! i lived with this man for 3 years and we have a child together. we broke up and 20 years passed and we both remarried and had other kids. we recently reconnected and we both are in complicated marriages. he can't leave because of his child and financial reasons. i can leave but haven't yet. i know we both still love each other but nothing can happen right now. i just feel frustrated. he tells me he loves me, then he gets scared and backs off from me for a while. i won't hurt him by being needy or asking for too much! am i crazy?
shellie, i'm in the exact same situation. we were hs friends, adored each other, even came close to sleeping together in hs. we then graduated, went out separate ways, and twenty years later we reconnected in fb. he has been married for 12 years, me for 8. both our marriages are not good and haven't been for years. we have been having an affair for a year now and i am totally and completely in live with him and vice versa. however, he has a 4 year old and he's still trying to be the good husband. he can't leave and honestly, due to finances, neither can i. it's a truly complicated situation and i believe that unless you're in it, you can't really understand all the intricacies of the relationship. i feel for you girlfriend! let's talk. maybe we could help each other!years.
Ok angel i dont think he will be leaving her. The man i have been with was in a sticky situation with his wife and still wouldnt leave her. . . . 2 years later. . As for my last post. . . i just sent him a text message saying "I figured i would spill my guts again. I feel as though i have more feelings twords you than you do me. And i feel like things wont be going any further than what they are. And i feel as though we should stop the whole extra marital affair. . . thoughts?" Soo i sent that 3 min ago. . . no response. . . will keep updated ladies! <3
I came across this article and having read all the reader comments I thought it might be useful to give another perspective on having affairs with people who are already in relationships.

A year and a half ago I discovered that my partner of 15 years was having an affair with a work colleague.

It was one of the most devastating and miserable periods of my life. Being utterly betrayed by someone you love and trust more than anyone else in the world is an experience I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

Her colleague is married with children but they both seemed to completely impervious to the awful collateral damage that they caused. Their behaviour was sordid, incredibly juvenile and shockingly self centred.

All marriages and relationships go through tough times. With work and honesty these can often be overcome. This may not be lovey but it's reality. But if there's someone else in the mix it's almost impossible because very few marriages can compete with the short term euphoric fantasy of an affair.

But it's not real

And once the lust dust settles and you get to know every nook and cranny of each others neurosis, insecurities, messy habits and finances your right back where you started except worse off.

Beginning a relationship with lies, deceit and betrayal is the worst possible basis for a healthy loving relationship. Statistically the odds of long term success or less than 1 in a hundred

If a relationship has broken down irrevocably have enough respect for yourself and your partner to end it cleanly before you start sleeping with someone else

For all those having affairs with people in marriages or long term relationships ask yourself

If the person did it to their partner what will stop them doing it to me?

Can I ever really trust them?

Why haven't they ended their relationship?

(People having affairs always cite the same tired lies or half truths - "I never loved my partner". "I fell out of love". "They don't make me feel the way you do" or the classic; "they had an affair".

If this is true why haven't they ended their relationship?

What effect will it it have on my and their family and children?

How would I feel if I was being cheated on?

Finally there are lots of unattached people looking for partners. Why chose one who is already attached?

What does it say about you?

Good luck
i have found myself in this very situation. i was introduced to this man by a friend of mine who is in his band. my friend failed to mention that he was married. that night was fun, i listened to the band and even sung for the first time in years it was amazing. he gave me his number and we both hoped we would see one another soon. i didn't call right away, because i wanted to take my time with this one. i spoke to my friend who told me he was married, but he was very unhappy and had been for years. i was immediately concerned about what this guy wanted from me, and considered throwing his number away. i didn't call him for weeks after we first met, then he started badgering my friend about me. so i called, i asked him what his intentions were with me. he told me he was going to get a divorce and that he wanted to take his time with me so that we could get to know each other. i felt good about this conversation, we were in agreement to take things very slow, although that is
I have been with a married man for 2 years. I am also married. He is 18 years older than me and in a high profile job. I am in love with him but also know it will never go anywhere. He was honest with me from the start. He is sweet , kind and has been there for me wether #loveual or emotional... and even financial if I needed it. But.. being in love with someone you can never have wears on you. You are always second and waiting for him to "get away". I would do it differently if I could go back in time.
you didn't mention your husbands feelings .
Try giving 17 years of your life believen that he is going to leave his wife. Defending your relationship to everyone you know. Defending it to yourself. Loving him so much that you feel like your heart is being ripped out, when you realize you can no longer lie to yourself. As much as he may love me, and as much as he may want to leave her, it is never going to happen. SO then I am forced to desided if I can continue to grab every second we can find and be okay with that or rip my heart out of my chest and crush it beyone repair, and end things. I realize it may sound like I am going over board with the whole "rip my heart out of my chest and crush it beyone repair" comment, but he is the ONLY man I have ever loved. He is my world and I would and have given my life for him. I am so torn and confused and lost...
i want to thanks dr kala for helping me to get my husband after he break up with me 6 months ago,if you also need his help you can contact him at kalalovespell - at - google and he will also help you.
i just want to use this medium to thank dr ojefor for helping getting my boyfriend back you can also reach him at - at - gmail
I understand the feeling of falling in love, but I also understand the feelings of being hurt. I have never been and never want to be in a relationship with a married man as a mistress. It is just pure selfishness and no self-discipline
If I was the wife and my husband has a mistress outside I would be very hurt and sad, becaues I too, like many of you have had the feeling of fallen in love with a man who I trust the most and believe is the world to me. I (the wife) would be hurt than any mistress because she went through so much more with this man (husband). Please put yourselves at someone else's shoes, this kind of relationships ends no where, it ends up hurting everyone. Please use common sense, you are more mature than that.
Please, PLEASE stop being a mistress and hurt people (and yourself) be strong! I beg of you, as a (wife) this is the LAST thing I want to have happened to me, and it will not just shatter my heart permanently but also my life. AND the children. Your selfishness and immaturity will destroy so many people's lives (including yours). so PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T DO IT, don't destroy other people's family, don't destroy other people's lives. Men do things like this because hope-less romantics like you guys exist, but if no one sets examples anymore this will stop. Please, stop being a mistress, I love him with all my heart and trust him with all my heart, like many of you may have said, I'm a woman too, just like all of you. Please, don't do it, for the sake of everyone.
this is my first time to say anything at all about my situation so please bare with me. i feel hard for this guy back at the end of 1995. we were together for two years. when we split, it broke my heart and i moved to another state, and buried it deep down. i cried everyday for years. he is the love of my life. i moved back a couple years after that. we went 12 years without ever seeing each other. no communication what so ever. i thought of him everyday and for years after our breakup i cried everyday. i refused to get married until after he married someone else. almost 5 yrs ago, we ran into each other and i had the opportunity to say all that i had wanted to say during all those years and i asked the questions i felt i needed the answers to. we have been seeing each other ever since. for the first three years, we saw each other almost everyday even if only for 15-20 minutes. he would talk to me and tell me about how unhappy he was and had been, supposedly. i knew he was unhappy. he
I had the same issue dating a married man and later 2 years later we have two kids til now I hate myself for it I cried so many doubts in my head wishing I regret being with him
i've been seeing this married man for a year. i love him more than i have love anyone including my ex husband of 19 years. i got pregnant in august he was not very happy but non the less he became happy after i told him i was having my baby and he could leave he didn't wanted to leave he stay with me. at 5 months pregnant we lost our baby girl it was very hard for both of us. it is still hard. he served his wife with the divorce papers and she put the puzzle together. she called me and ask me to leave her husband that he is married and that they have the children. i told him what do you want to do. i'm willing to leave if that's what you want and he said no he wants to stay with me forever. apparently his wife cheated on him and after that their marriage starting breaking up. i came into the picture two years later. i told her talk to him not to me. i felt very uneasy but i love this man. and he says we are a couple and that's how it going to be. this is my story
I never thought I would look for advices on the Internet but I really need a couple because I'm in the worst situation and I'm only 21and he's 36 years old.I can kinda relate but the I'm in love with is engage.When we first met he told me he still live at home with somebody and that he's was in the process of moving out so I said find ok( That's was a big mistake)I didn't really think on that because I thought we was just gonna be friends and that it was gonna be all about love.Well we started hanging out,he's was so romantic,honest nice,he even briught his kids around me and he was fun to be around.We was together all day everyday.he got me a apartment and furnish my whole apartment out and he didn't even know me like that.I knew I had feelings for him once the lady got Incontact with me over FB saying they were engage and it hurted my soul to see pictures of them together like I was upset so I confronted him about the situation and he said she just still going through it don't worry abt her and he even showed me the ring so I left it alone.then everything stated going down the hill.I guest when me and him was going through it he got back with her and I just recently found out that they are really engage.He still calls me and I keep telling him to not call me cause I can't talk to him when I know for sure your engage.Im hurt on so many ways caus I really was looking at the future for us.I thought one day maybe hell move out n we can find a home together .I was a fool and now my heart is crush.I will never thought I will experience this at a young age.And for some odd reason I still believe that one day he'll leave and come be with me.
I understand love, passion, getting caught up, romance and all of that, I love it just as much as the next woman, but I have had my heart broken just enough that I have come to the realization that real men do not cheat on their wives. The kind of man that you should want in your life would have courage and respect enough for himself and his family to end a bad marriage, and move on if that's what he wants to do. I see a common theme to every painful response, every comment begging for advice, all the confusion, and chaose in so many of your lives, you are waiting on this man to choose you first, not realizing that he can never do that because he already chose his wife first, that's why he chose her, and that's why even though he tells you all the right things to make you stay with him, he stays with her. Get out while you can!!
this is, by far the smartest comment/reply on this thread. females... i am a happily married woman. do you all as women really think that you deserve to be loved and wifed by any man? think about it for a minute... you want a married man. this man has a family. little innocent children are involved. you want exactly what the wife already has but you're destroying the very thing you want. so as women, the way that you ho%s are helping tear apart a family, do you honestly believe you deserve a husband and family of your own? respect the process and wait to build your home with an available man from the ground up. not willing to put in that kind of ground work? hmm? then you were never wife material to begin with and should stop dating cold turkey and work on all those feelings of needing to be loved to the point that the man has to give up his whole life or destroy it just to give you a sense of security or worth... man this was too easy to rip a new one in y'all... lol. much love and
hello. i have dated a married man for 1 and 5 months. he is been married for 25 years, but his wife did not give him any kids because she was married before and had two kids of her own and cannot have kids any more. when i first met him, he asked me if i had any kids, and i said no. he started dating me and i noticed that he wanted to get me pregnant. soon, i ended up pregnant it is a boy he is 5 months old. when the baby turned 2 months old, i told his wife that he cheated on her and that we have a baby together. soon after, i told him to leave his wife, and he told no. he refuses to leave her and basically he does not want anything with me, and i don't think he wants anything with the baby either. he keeps telling that he loves his wife, and told me to go away with the baby.

any comments
thanks .
boyfriend lied. now i love him. he is carrier with 3 kids
4 years ago this man and i were together and we broke up over something # silly #. i was so angry at him i just quit talking to him for over a year (we also work together). he is now engaged and has a 1yo with another woman. about a month ago he wanted to come over to watch movies and just get back to being friends. i told him it was a bad idea from the start. and i was right we ended up being together and we didn't want to let each other go the next morning. he has stopped over frequently to "be with me" a few times since then. he would talk and text all day every day until she noticed and was getting snoopy. he has told me the only reason he hasn't left this woman is because of his daughter. he says he is in love with me and i am madly in love with him as well. about a week ago now i text him and said i couldn't do this anymore and he needed to figure things out on his own. am i # silly # to think that he will ever leave her even though they aren't married yet? i'm hurt and so em
a week ago i just broke up with married man. Our relationship is just for about 6mos. When i met him he told me he was single. As days passed by i got suspicious. I did my reasearch on him, then bam! He was married. I asked him and he didnt deny. But it was too late! I fell for him slready. He made promises that he will compensate our relationship. That he will respect my feeling. But sooner or later his treatment of me changed. Probably because he knows that im just on a tip of his finger and didny have to do much to keep me. Everytime i tried to leave him, he will act sweet but will diminish once he got me again. He always threaten to break up with me everytime i tell him how he made me feel. He only see me once a month. He wud only call me if he knows im about to demand it. It was really easy for him to keep me and he knows how much i love him. He has not bought me anything. No gifts. But last week was the last straw. He has been cold with me after our fight telling me i'm terrible when all i wanted was a bit of attention. He broke up with me several times but i m so # silly # to always give him a chance. So last wk when he told me he will be overseas for 10 days which i know he will be with his family for a vacay (again) when all he gave me was crumbrier than crumbs. It hit me hard! He goes out having a time of his life, happy and all he gives me nothing! Cheap motels and dinners. No! I would not allow it anymore! I have to cut the string! Im not his puppet anymore. He played with my emotion. Which i allowd. But this time no more! It hurts like hell knowing and realizing that i was used. But i have to accept it. Its my karma and i will face the pain having faith that it will soon be over. I cried and cried. He doesnt even know how he hurt me. I wanted to tell him how he made me feel. But its pointless. I told him that i will not wait anymore. Im done with it. No more explaning or reasoning. Right now it hurts like hell, but i will choose me. He is a rotten branch in my treee that i need to cut. I know i am not a bad person. I just made a bad decision when i chose to believe him and love him. But its up to me to change that now. I have the power to change it.
i met a man at a sports bar 4 months ago...we were immediately attracted to one another....we started flirting and talking and before you know it we exchanged phone #'s. i clearly asked him if he was "taken" or had any kids. his reply was simply, no! he had just moved to the area for work and doesn't know many people. the first 5 days i knew this man were so very nice...he wined and dined me. on the 6th day, he felt so guilty, being that we had been #loveual the night before, and he told me he was married and couldn't lie to me.
i cried and was very hurt...i really liked this guy. i didn't talk to him for several days...and i received a text from him saying that he missed talking to me...and the truth was, i missed him too. we decided to be friends and did good for about a week. the attraction was far more than just a friendship. we spent almost every night together. i felt like this guy was my boyfriend. to make this long story short. he has a wife and 2 kids that live 6 hours away. he came here for work and the plan was to move them here when she finishes school. i learned to accept the phone calls, hiding when she would face-time, and not texting or calling him when he told me he would be with her. it was very clear that he wasn't leaving her for me. this was very hard for me since i had fallen in love with this man.
well, 4 nights ago we had a wonderful date, went back to his place and somehow his phone called her. she heard everything. including the #loveual interaction that went on. he went outside to talk to her while leaving me inside for an hour. when he came in he hardly spoke to me...as if this was my fault. i asked him if he wanted me to leave and he said it would probably be best....so i did.
i haven't heard from him since then. i know he was off work the past 2 days and i'm pretty sure he went back to see her. although i am sure it over between me and him, i don't know what to do if he was to call or text me. do i respond? i still respect him although he has lied to his family. everything happens for a reason. i know that he is not emotionally or physically happy in his marriage.
just need advise from others that have been through this. do they usually reach out after things calm down?
crazy thing is...it is a relief to me...that was the hardest relationship i have ever had to deal with.
women who go after a married man, well, i don't like to judge another, but, it is hurtful to another woman. i don't want to degrade another woman, because, i think us women should stand by each other more. we are so cruel to each other. we are jealous of women who are younger, prettier, smarter, has bigger tits or etc. why is that? we allow men to control how we treat other women. we have enough battles to fight just being a woman in a man's world without fighting each other. i am specking as a divorced woman and yes my husband had an affair. the woman was someone who actually enjoyed busting up homes. why? i am over that now and happily single. one thing i would never do is date a married man. i would never hurt another woman like that. it is just plain mean and karma will caught up to you one day. only the woman is not the only one to blame. any husband who would hurt their wife like this well they don't love them enough to deserve the wife. i will not allow myself to hate anyone because hate and bitterness, resentments and such only hurts the one who allows it in their heart. if you are a woman out there who is hurting other women who does not deserve this. i hold my judgement and give you my prayers and pitty.
i have been seeing a married man also for about 5 months now. we started seeing eachother as friends and he was separated from his wife. during the last 5 months we got to know each other very well and i did fall in love with him. just a month ago he went back to his wife cause he said that he was getting pressure from his kids which are older and his friends. he says that he doesn't know if he is happy being home but feels he should give it a shot. he told me that i meant a lot to him, more then i should and that the feelings he has for me he needed to try and get back for his wife. we still text periodically and see eachother for a drink every now and again but i am starting to feel like he is using me. it seems he is wanting to see me when he is having a rough time at home and i must be his "pick me up" so he can go back home and cope again. he was also saying that he was waiting for her to screw up so he could be gone. i think i am coming to my senses that he needs to make up his mind what he wants before i can see him again. ya it hurts cause i really do love him but it will hurt more if i continue to be just a side to him.
am dating a guy his not married but he's staying with the mother of his 4 years little girls, the problem is he keeps on promising me that he does love her anymore, he need me. i realy don't know if he mean it or not. so this days something he have some excuses when we suppose to meet he tells me he can't his baby is sick or if he suppose to see me after work he told me he can't he got a lift from a friend
i can relate to how you feel. i've been here more then likely he wants to be with her but telling what you want to hear being that he is not married and the only thing e has to hold on to is the baby. tell him he has to chose don't make the same mistake i have waiting is hurtful. one question if moved out would you let him stay with you? and a question you have to ask yourself is are you ready to deal with baby mama drama?
i have been dating a married man for about a year. he never promised to leave and i was okay with that at first. we both fell in love. he spends time with my family and my daughter. i do work for his business and we spend a decent amount of time together. his wife just isnt who she once was and i guess i understand because i was in a similar situation a few years back. i fulfill the voids that she does not and he is honest when he tells me he dont want to leave his son. there are days we talk about being together, as a family. i know thats what we both want. i just hope one day it works out that way. yes, there are days it hurts. the one thing we have is honesty. when i met him i was with someone and we were always honest, including #loveual information. he has not slept with his wife now for several months. he spends hours out of touch. we have had nights away together. my question is...how does she not know?! i have realized with the help of him...she may know and just not care to discuss it.

my question... i have thought about confronting her. should i?
my advice is no. dont confront her. is not her fault. you and him are in this mess together. first. let the man be a man and let him handle it. confronting her is the worst thing you can do.

dont assume she knows already. because in the event she doesnt know and you confront her, she will be hurt tremendously all to satisfied your guilt.
please, anyone help me!

what do you do if you are married and have a kid but you have fell in love with someone else before it all happened but now they too are married but my heart keeps thinking about him?
i have been and now find myself again for the forth time, waiting and waiting.. much more to this though, i resonated with you, only difference is he either left her or got kicked out and he moved in with me, without my knowledge really, its like he came in through the back door, anyhow he lasted almost 2 weeks gave excuses like i miss my kids etc... this is going to work.... i dont think i love you anymore and on and on, we spent all of christmas together, i met his mother and his sister, but still he packs up and goes, totally cuts off all communication and blocks me on his phone... i asked him why he blocks me just before the last time he left me which was 4 days ago, he says i needed time by myself. yeah right he has said that too many times, i know he has either gone back or he is seeing someone else... the best lie he has told and gone along with is im his soulmate etc and while we do seem to be that to me, i tend to hold back on that, because of his lies.
Even the same thing happened in my life also,my house owner uncle has fallen in love with me he is 40 yrs old and i'm 22 . One day suddenly he kissed me i was shocked and i pushed him and went home and started cried i wonder why that uncle suddenly behave like this to me. Even i'm very scared to say all that to my mom and to my family members.Days went on like this he used to kiss me almost everyday.At one point of time even i'm started to love him so deeply.One day when no one at my house he came and started doing everything even he had #love with me i don't know why i can't i stop him,he said he even want a baby from me.Now his not ready to marry me bcz he is already married but i can't lose him ,i just want him
Please tell me now what i should do whether i want to leave him and get marry someone else .but i can't marry anyone else than him because i gave my self to him.Please suggest me a good way for my future
Im now 53 years old, I had a 6 year affair with a married man when his wife found out he told me not to call anymore that she was on to us and that he would get in touch with me, I never heard one single word from him last weekend out of the blue I get a facebbok request to friend an alias name of course and when he leaves the message it is him , he never forgot about me , he still loves me but if we start again we would see less of each other than even before because he is still married to her and now has very little free time away from her, why did he do this to me it took me so long to get over the hurt and devastation, I never tried contacting him I always thought if we ran into each other out in public my eyes would shoot daggers thru him, I have been with no one since he left me a lil over 3 years ago in fact I believed I was emotionally dead as far as men are concerened but once i told him I forgave the way he did me all those feelings I had for him came pouring back as if I just hadnt seen him in a week or so.... Why did he contact me :-(
I actually have 2 stories

Story number one:

I was 20 years old just got out of a really bad relationship and was a single mom to my beautiful daughter. I was working retail and this man came in and asked me for my number. I gave it to him he seemed cute enough!
We started dating we had been together for 3 months. Due to my daughter I never invited him to my house and there was only brief time after work I could see him before I had to get my daughter from daycare. I didn't want my 8 month old daughter to get attached to a non permanent fixture. And I never went to his house because he said it was under construction him being a carpenter it didn't strike me as odd that his house was under construction. Month 3 in are relationship I was in the tub and being young I'm never far from my phone well I got a call to whom I thought was him but it turned out to be his wife that I knew nothing about! Dumb struck, due to the fact that I had been told by him and his friends that he was divorced. I didn't know what to say to the woman so I got off the phone really quick with her. The next day he called me and I confronted him about his wife where he came clean and told me that he was married. It was November, I told him he had till January 1st to leave her or I was gone. January 1 came he didn't call me so we through a new years party and tried to do my best to forget him January 6th he called and told me that he left his wife and we have been together ever since. Now you are confused where is the second story?

Story 2

Me and my fiancé have been together for several years my fiancé is the liar in story one. After numerous rumors of him cheating I got warn down and started looking for another man. Where I came across one. who'd a thunk it! he was a mutual friend of me and said fiancé and we were really great friends going through similar situations and confided in one another about our relationship issues he came to me and told me that he was getting a divorse and I told him I was going to leave my fiancée come summer time so I didn't have to transfer my daughters school mid year and confuse her more. Well I took a business trip a several hours away when I get a call from my fiancé saying that our friend is in town and if I could get some material from him and bring it back home the following week. I said ok. This friend and I met up and started talking about his divorse and his kids and I started telling my latest drama and one thing led to another! A month later his job transferred him closer to me and my fiancé where I would come to his house and see him or he would come to mine and go grocery shopping and visit with my daughter. well a couple weeks later his wife came back into town from a family emergency. The things guys will say and do for a piece of ass! Needless to say so called friend is friend no more!
Recently found myself in this similar situation. But I didn't tell his wife. She found out on her own. Twice. And took him back. Twice. It's very sad because after a year of letting somebody treat you very badly it really does feel like nobody will ever want you again. It also feels like after what you did to his wife you may not deserve to be loved again. I don't know how I let this happen to me.
I was at work one night at the hotel I worked at and started talking to a guest that was in the lobby most of the night. By the time I was to get off work he gave me a card with his number and we started texting minutes later after I left. We talked the next day and met the day after that and as we said our good byes (he was going home 3 hours from me) he kissed me. We fell in love and because of his oil field job he travels constantly and is rarely home maybe a couple days a month and works all over the US. We saw each other occasionally when we could but talked / texted constantly every day all day and night. We talked about getting married and even looked at rings. He told me about his ex wife and his 2 daughters and how things were with his family and their problems. 4 months into the relationship I found out that he was not divorced but having an affair with me. Things went down hill fast. I found out about lies, infidelities, other women in his life etc. We still tried to make things work but I'm tired of being hidden and lied about etc. His wife didnt know about me til recently and things have gotten way out of control. He says he wants me and loves me but I have to keep things calm til the divorce is over for the sake of his kids so he can have 50/50 custody of them. He says he realizes how hard it is on me and that its not fair but he has to think about his girls and after all this is said and done we can "re kindle" what we have. We still talk everyday but it usually ends up in an argument. He tells me he loves me and misses me. Idk what to do. Its been almost 7 months since this thing has started. I love him but I dont know what to do anymore.
there are two things in life....if its making you happy go for it, but if aint making you happy anymore, let go...it hurts big time but ull get over it.....cry it out as much as you can, keep praying, you'll be fine in time....help yourself try to find some quiet moment alone, think about of good things...stay positive...if he loves you he will come back...Godbless you
ive been going through the same situation as yours....it hurst real bad...but honestly its not exactlt what i want...i am happy but what makes me even more happy is the idea that i also wanted someone i can really call mine...i do love him so much, but i guess you are right...i only wanted someone to share it with...someone whom i can rely and talk to...thank you for this lovely post ive just started to realise that i should do just the same....
I met a guy a few years back and weve gre closer and closer and ive just realised that ive fallen in love with him, he is married and i am also married, he has very strong feeligns for me bu also loves his wife, shes cheated on my and ive been cheated on loads and loads of times by the guy im with and i love him but dont feel the same anymore i have 2 kids with him, but i dont no ifi can stay with him i dont no what to do and this other guy we talk almost 24/7 we have shared a kiss or 2 but nothing more but were getting closer so weve both agreed to stop whatever this is, and carry on as mates but even though we still talk all the time, it hurts so so much i cry for him but i no deep down its the right thing to do and i respect him for not leaving his wife or cheating on her, i love him so much but i would rather have him as a friend then nothing so its better this way just hurts so so much xxx
I been off and on wit a married man which is my babydaddy I love him soo much THA love I have for him is unstoppable I don't know what to do...me and his wife done had fights twice about him and both times he went back to her well the second time he said I made him do it cause he was really gettin a divorce...he was incarterated n dec to jan 2013 and the whole time I was there for him through it all when no one else was and he did me like that he said his mind was set ta already b with me before he went ta jail and when he was n there I got letters ta prove it and traveling down the highway going ta see him every weekend it's crazy and right now ta this day we still talk and he's still married to her we cuz of THA baby at least he try's too make it seems like when he do call it's about the baby but we both know its not so I don't know what ta to can u give me some advise
I have know this man for 8 years, we work for the same company and have been what I would call good friends. I was always attracted to him, but figured whomever was married to him was sure to be thankful everyday when he walked in the door. I was married too, unhappy, but married. When my relationship imploded, I sent an innocently flirtatious e-mail to this man, that could have been taken not flirtatious, if that makes sense. He bit, bit hard and fast. We started emailing and found out there was a mutual attraction, started talking, found out he was miserable and didn't know what to do. It became physical, and the feelings followed......s feelings. He came to me one day and said he could no longer engage in the physical relationship, because he didn't want his children to get hurtbif our relationship was discovered. Of course I understood..... are his children. We have stayed away from a physical relationship, but keep circling around.....let be friends, talk on the phone.....nothi romantic. A few deep feeling, need to move on emails.....but we have had a hard time breaking away. Just today, I have decided I must rip off the band aide and end all personal contact. If he is to leave, then I won't be involved with him to know what is going on. If we are meant to be, he will return when he is able, I just have to hurt now and heal from the wrong way that we have been involved.
What state does he live in? What are his initials.
Please keep me informed of your progress... I feel very simular to what you just posted here... But been feeling a low... it gets hard.. ben sticking to my "me" feelings... but there are days when it hurts so much. But I agree you need to love you first. Love is love you can't help it... but if it ends up going weird.. and you will know... Remembe yourself first above all. and it will hurt. but it needs to hurt if it is to heal.
If you are a single woman involved with a married man you are asking for trouble and you deserve it!Contrary to belief all married men seem to have the same old line about leaving their wife!Why get yourself all caught up with a man that you will never have! Never!It's just too many men out there to be with who will treat you right and not be married to someone else! I have read alot of these comments and it seems like the same man is cheating on all of you ladies cb they are doing and saying the same thing and these weak women are falling for it!
yes i do agree on that, with the girls who fell in love with the marred man, because i do believe in karma, there is a good karma and bad karma. please let him go for the reason he is still married and you will be a mistress forever
im involved with a man whos wife lives in another state. they havent lived together for 3 or 4 yrs. she has lung cancer and has been in remission for 6 years.she lives with her mom and has her dr.s there. she hates it here and he cant move because of his job. he travels alot and i go with him most of the time. he is lonely and she has taken so much meds that she isnt all their. he let me hear her when he is on the phone with her.she has a mind of a 12 yr old because of the meds. he promised her when she was first sick he would never leave her. we are both in love with each other and dont know what to do! of course we all have our doughts. she started smoking again and heavy. he let me hear her mother talk to him. ive seem med bills and he keeps me posted on her health. i do hope she is ok. i dont wish her harm at all. and i understand his promise. when she was 15 her mother told him she was pregnant and she wasnt. so he married her. when he found out it was to late. he cared for her but he didnt love her the way he should have. but he didnt tell his family about what happened and they are from a real southern state. so marriage is gospel. he is three yrs older than her and i he now 49 yrs old. we both want to be happy. he has no children but i do and he loves them alot. he allways wanted a family. i dont know what to do. my family of course dosnt know about this. they think he is divorced. please tell me what to do. im so confussed.. please help me!!!!
how wierd chris, im the same age as you , and the married man im seeing is the same age as you said too. how odd.
I've been seeing him for a year. He is 52. I am 21. I am deeply in love with him, and he with me. I am not his first mistress. But I am the first one he has fallen in love with, and I am the first one to be around this long. We have had our ups and downs but we have made each other so happy. I can't even imagine another man touching me. The idea makes me sick. 5 days ago he showed up at my house, told me he was getting a divorce, he finally told his wife he didn't love her anymore. He talked about how I could be a part of his life now, how I could meet his daughters, how we would take trips together, and be together freely. He spent the night and the next morning she called him. She wants marriage counseling, and he agreed. He has no hope for the marriage and he doesn't want to be in it, but he feels bad for her because she believes in him. She believes in a lie because she doesn't know about me. He can't decide if he can tell her about me or not. I don't think he will. He wants me to wait until he can decide. I cry every night, hoping to hear from him. He isn't happy, and when we talk on the phone he is despondent and in pain. I hate hearing him like this even though it's his fault, even though I spend every night feeling like that. He told me everything I've been waiting to hear, after months of patience, and once I let myself be happy about it... he tore it from under me. Part of me wants to hate him, to say go be with her, stay out of guilt, make her miserable. Make yourself miserable. You deserve it. And leave him to think about the best thing that ever happened to him (me)as a memory that he can no longer keep simmering on his back burner. But then I smell his scent on his shirt that I've slept in, see his wine glass on my countertop that I can't bear to remove, and I think of all I would do to just feel his arms around me for one moment in time. And I realize that no matter what, I will love him and I will be the one suffering. No matter what. No matter what.
His 31 yrs older than u, you definitely deserve better than being some ones 2nd choice at this age.
You should be out dating and discovering what it is you want in a partner and that definitely should not be some one who is that much older than you and married probably with kids your age or older.
I was the OW not long ago and it ended about a month a go when his wife found out and all of a sudden she became the priority. In the Beginning it was a nightmare to try and forget and move on… first 2-3 weeks was miserable, constantly waiting for a call a message an email anything from him… and when I got one it made me so happy and hopefully.
However I haven’t heard from him in the last 2 weeks and struggled… but its getting easier.. and more and more I realize it would have never worked out and we could have gone for years and years before all this would happen, I am 27 now so its good that it ended when I am young.
At 21… you should be having fun and enjoying life, discovering what you want to do and choosing a direction in life.
Don’t mean to be lecturing you at all…
Just trying to let you know it will get easier once you decide to move on and struggle for a bit .. then you will see the light!
After all at his age… he has lived his life, he has kids and a family and if not already soon will have grandkids etc… but you haven’t! and lets say he even leaves his wife to be with you……. Is he going to want to experience what you haven’t all over with you?
Will you be happy now and in the long run with some one who is so much older and some one who cheated on their partner to be with you? Will you be able to trust him every time he goes to a family function or gathering with out you?
You are just too young to be going through this =(
Im married n my husband is very kind guy. He prepares food for the kids, do the laundry n etc.. but the problem start when he always busy with those stuff n he forget that he has a wife that needs some care aswell.. so due to this dullness, i met a guy who is perfect to me in the beginning.. it was great that both of us who are married fall in love to each other.. after a year he mentioned to me that he doesnt to marry me because he has kids n just want to fool around.. i was upsate but ok.. since that wat he wants.. after 3 years he changes his mind.. he wants me n want to divorce as he said his wife also doesnt love him anymore.. in one way i have doubt in that as a lover will missed each other n one to be in contact.. he is going for a vacation with his daughter, he look forward to it but he didnt even take into account that he will not be contact with me for sometimes as there will be no coverage n that area.. this happen often.. we are now in two different countries and communication is so important.. it seems he takes thing for granted now n i hate it.. he loves his daughter so much but his daughter never listen to her.. i will divorce anyway but not certainly i will get maried to anyone after my divorce..
Stay strong Chris. Your heart is saying another thing although we are saying other wise. If we love someONE, it will always feel more hurt on the bearer. The feeling of longing will always be there no matter how difficult the decision is.
I am in the exact same place and share your pain. I am giving myself 1 more month of this and if he does not step up, I am leaving for good. possibly moving to another state to attempt at removing him from my mind and heart and skin. :( it is heart breaking.
will u marride me so tall u plz ..?
Hi I'm a 28 year old female who has never been married. I have been dating this guy who who is a 43 year old man for awhile now and he's married. He spends everyday/ every night or at least sometimes he even spends the night with me. I have a big problem because now im 2 months pregnant by him. I really didnt look at how serious it was to be dating a married man intill i started. He's everything that i want in a man and more but i know that's not were i need to be. So if anyone has advice please tell me.
I am sorry to hear your predicament. U have to let him know and see how he reacts. You can tell a lot from the way he will react to the news of the pregnancy. If he is supportive, he probably cares about you and can work things out. Just know that in the future, as long as he is with his wife, u will go thru a lot of times when u will feel alone and unsupported and down.
I am in love w/ a married man. I've known him for 5 years - our kids on same soccer team. He always flirted and I was married but felt he liked me..I was very coy and was just friendly. Then, my now ex husband divorced me for a younger woman - that was 2 years ago..a year after, me and the married man started facebooking, then an affair ensued, 4 mos. later we were saying we loved each other..he still married..in a bad marriage..etc. Now a year later, he is confused and not sure if he wants to leave wife or not..its been on and off..me getting frustrated, wanting more and him going backa nd forth..we both agreed he needs time to figure out what he needs or what will make him happy; I need to do the same..so I cried my eyes out but sticking to it.
aww the internet is great for info. Its been going on for the guts of 5 months...hes been married 10 years ...told me he doesnt love her...yeah right...time to get rid :( i love him but jeez i dont wana be a homewrecker!!! AT the start it was different, he said he was going to separate, but hes still wit her, and im done.
Im dating a married man and he is seperated he had a seven year old daughter with his ex. He says he will divorce her when he found a woman he would fall in love with. He has never told me that he loves me but his actions show me that he does. I love him so much and i want to marry him. Will he ever leave her/Divorce her? When i met him they had already seperated and its obvious they dont get along they totally hate each other i dont know why they cant finalize the divorce. They dont live together. Does he really care about me or im just anotherwoman to warm his bed?
after3 years relationship, just found out my lover does not live with his father all week but goes home to a wife and child.so each night he said goodbye he went straight to her.....i just cant stop vomiting. if i had a gun i dont know who i would shoot first, me or him.i have never felt so bad, so ugly, so humiliated, what about his poor family....i hope his wife never finds out -this pain has got to be the same she would feel if she ever found out....uugh, i invested 3 years for this cheating piece of shit.worse still is that i work in the same office and have to be polite and proffessional in everyones company so that nobody finds out. God give me strenghth to cling to whatever dignity i have left...message - dont ever trust a man
I am where you were in your relationship. Mine started out as friends too. I was going through a tough time in my life and he found me online and asked me out. I saw his profile said separated and his picture was up so I figured he was honest. He told me the truth how she and he were not together anymore and they do live separately, however, he makes excuses after excuses every month as to why he can't divorce.. ie the kids, it will hurt them, I'm worried about their financial future, etc. He has been there for me in many ways when I was sick and in the hospital, etc. But his wife and kids from his 2nd marriage have no clue I exist as they live 100's of miles away. His other kids from his first marriage no me.. but when he goes to see his younger kids I do not exist. He ended up in the hospital a little while ago.. guess who got called to be the emergency contact and went to the hospital with the kids and stayed by his side all week? His wife! It has changed me forever and how I view him. I know he's trying but it just isn't enough. I told him I didn't want to date him because he was not divorced and he said he was getting one.. that was a long time ago. The perfect man for me ends up being a lie. We are still together but I"m starting to drift away slowly as to protect myself and heart and his. I will tell him once he recovers from his ailment that I am going to end it and take a break from him. He needs to show me he or she filed for divorce before I will see him again. If he cannot do it, then I will know how much he really loves me. Men need to do it right and not cheat. I never looked at myself as a mistress until this all came down. He introduced me to all his friends and colleages, took me to functions in his town, etc. I am sure in some eyes I am his girlfriend as he calls me, however to many others they know he's married. I love him so much but I cannot live like this anymore. My advice is to do what this girl said and make excuses not to see him slowly and then when you have enough strength to either end it or give him an ultimateum about filing and getting the divorce and you won't see him until he does. Then you will see how much he loves you...
I was kicked out of the by my ex with a 6 weeks old baby because of some silly girl that he is now married to. I vowed i would never do that with anyones boyfriend or husband because of the pain it inflicted on me. Now that im getting closer to a new found friend who happens to be married. He has shown some interest in me and now i cant hide my feelings for him. We text all day and sometimes call each other. He told that him and his wife are falling out of love, i really want to give him a chance because i have fallen deeply for him. I know its not the right thing to do, but hey, another woman did it to me and my baby. My mind is in a state of i dont care attitude because he is one mature and sincere and lovey guy. I havent dated since i broke up with my ex. I last had love when i was 7 months pregant because my ex was refusing me, i found out he was getting it from some b8. Its almost 2yrs and i havent dated anyone because i didnt feel ready. Now that im a bit financially and emmotionally stable, im ready to take off... it just happened that the right candidate is married. Ive been hurt before, no pity.
I'm a teenager and i have been heartbroken from one boy who ive known in the past 2 years who played around and i decided to let him go , we were never really together but he gives me mixed signals and keeps coming back , i cant let him go and ive tried to get over him , i did last year for a few months and i met someone not intentionally and weve been dating for 7 months i really adore him and we get along well and he makes me happy , although 2 months after out relationship i fell again for my ex again although now its not on my mind if he came back i would panic , but lately in Feburary a situation ahppened with my bf and my mother and involving the Police , shes judgemental of him , my father and friends adore him , but hes being watched and lately ive spoken to someone involved in the Law more often weve been friends since i was 14 , so a few years now but since my bf and i ahvent been talking im used to it i dont seem to miss him which is bad , i miss the old days with him and want them back as its been hard but ive fallen for this law man , hes married and has a son and horrifically we like each other , its either a crush or lust but i want him in the way of protection and an innocent relationship but im not the cheater and i cannot ruin a family , it might be a pahse , but with age difference and people judging im really worried about my feelings and if i end up sneaking off with him . Hope you can help
Melissa, where do u live?
I am not the mistress. I was wondering if a mistress has conscience. My husband's mistress is sending me emails.It's very obvious that she is the other woman but she don't admit it. I want to hear it from her that she is the other woman,I am looking for proof before I ask my husband about his affair. What should I say to make her admit it?
I thought it would be easy and no feelings would ever get involved but that proved to be completely wrong!!! I am in love with him but continually get hurt but for some reason I can't just walk away. I know he won't leave but he spends more time with me than with her so I felt that I could handel it but the truth is I am now feeling remorse and bad for her.. If your not in this situation DON'T ever get yourself in it just run.....
do not do this-what is your gain?
instead of one broken heart-yours there will be 3 at least; more if there are children envolved. what did they do to you? no one is to blame here except for you and him. And I am not a puritan.
I too am in love with a married guy and I think he is in love with me, but we both are intelligent enough not to fall into our passion and start a bad affair. We keep it as a most enjoyable non acted romance. We both enjoy lingering on each other and talking and we are elegant enough not to fornicate out of wedlock and hurt our surroundings and our spouses. Maybe we have bad thoughts, but when we come home we are relatively clean.
So please be kind to yourself and to your lovers family and do not do this. better if you leave him, but I do understand you that it is impossible for you at the minute. You need to meet someone who will release you from this addiction.
Ple be kind.
Hi,I wont tell you my age but my romance started few years ago with this guy I met, you see I was really naive and he was older then I was. He was charming but at times I wasnt so into him all of a sudden time went on and I started to fall in love with him at this trime I didnt know he was married so I had a boyfriend who lived away, he said he had roomate and I couldnt visit, I was young and silly and I believes it.So 3 years when bye and I got my own place he would visit and I also knew his friends who he would introduce me to and we would go and hang out now and then. I wouldalways speak to him from the time he woke up till the time he would get out of work and saygoodnight, he would also get jealous possesive about where i was and whith who I was going to be I felt that one day he would pop the question, in my mind I was the one.one day he told me I have something to tell you and I said what is it and I remember he said he was married i was about 22 23 yrs of age and I was religious before i met him so I really didnt know much about a player or men games out here in Ny. So my love for him was so strong i only accepted it because he promised me he will get a divorce give me 3 yrs then 5 yrs then i got oregnat 6 yrs into the relationship we both decided to have a baby he swore one day we will be together I was in college and didnt want kids later on I wasnt getting any younger so I had a child and it was ok umtil they sent a birth certificate to his house 6 months later you see he owns a home with her so they found his address and on valentines day his wife got the news. Oh did he change he said he couldnt trust me he stop coming bye to see the baby and i would see him less often Ive been though hell with this men my child is 6 yrs old and my kid will get sick from not seeing her dad.I wonder how men sleep without knowing if their kid eats or if its sick>My advise is to run he promised my parents he would take care of me and yet till now 2012 he swears his not happy but he figures going through a divorse cost money maintance child support his getting older he has a lot to loose plus he said if I go with you would you take care of me I dont want to work and would you pay my maintance if i want him very badly y should i take care of this lady if she once told me my kid was from the devil and shes supose to be a christian I dont know what type of church she goes to. My point is just because a men tells you somethhing he might at the end turn it on you and say youre the one thats bothering him.I stopped seeing him for about 1 and a half years and he only calls to have phone love and I have to hang up on him. How can a men be a prince and another day is like you dont know who you dealing with I went through a very emotional stage with time your heart will heal and when you have kids you heal faster if your kids mean that much seeing them grow and the other parent being absent I have to make believe that the dad is away in the army i dont know for how long it hurts to see your child cry and them looking at a window to see if their dad is coming to visit :( i dont wish this on anybody now if you know his married from the beginning thats different im thinking you can prevent from falling in love with someone who already marry but i was tricked along with million of women who go through this every day very few men leave now that im not with him I am more cautious and look at men different nobody can hurt me no more ,good luck ladies and if you know a jerk leave now I met some nice guys being with him instead I decided to stay single mom and on some ocasions I would look at the guys who asked me out they look happy and married with kids in a nice house 11 years what did I gain a broken heart and wrinkles lol joking yes a broken heart and those11 years i would never gain back dont be like me theres so many guys out there runnnnn nowwwwwwwwwwwww
hi. i am 22 years old. i had a relation with a guy sice past 4 and half years. at that time i was 17 years old. earlier he used to say that he would definitely marry me but about 3 months ago he got engaged to someone else and he said that it's arranged by his parents and he can't deny them. he said that his parents are not agreeing to accept our relation as i am not as rich as him so according to them i m not a suitable match. i have tried hard to keep distance with him but every time he pleads in front of me to talk to him and be with him always but he can't leave that girl at the same time. he prefers talking to her instead of me. he goes out with her, meets her too. please advice me what i should do at this point of time?
We are working in a same place... we meet everyday...I know that he is married with 1 kid... but for now, i still don't care... i'll be leaving this city in just another one month so i think i want to cherish every moment left for us.. i know that this is crazy but i just can't help it... i hope that after i leave, i can forget everything about him..
My husband is back again two weeks ago. I am so grateful to ancientijebudes I stood on the promise of that little mustard seed and miracles started happening everywhere in my life, not only my marriage is healed, but also my family is healing.All thanks to ancientijebudes Lilly
Long story short. I was seen a married man who I've known since we were young. We were off and on but for almost a year we stopped hanging out. A few weeks ago a girl contacted me to find out what my relationship to him had been. She told me she was his girlfriend. I recorded our chat and sent it to him along with her emails. She exposed him to me so I contacted him to let him know she was going nuts. He ended it with her and later she exposed him to his wife. Now he writes me to say not to contact him again please and that the life of his wife has been shattered along with not wanting to be connected or in communication to anyone who was remotely close to this mess, including me. I lost a friend, someone I loved and had an affair with but mostly considered a friend. Will this last or is the friendship also over forever?
I have been at my job for over ten years. I am falling for my boss so hard....and I am so confused by it all. He is a wonderful man. For years his wife has been neglecting him, and he does so much for her. They recently had a conversation about going their separate ways. I have not been physical with him (although we do flirt), but I feel like things are starting to pick up and that there is a chance that something can happen. But, he is my boss. And I get worried that it will effect my job. I care about him a lot, and know his wife too. I think that if they get divorced, then I will open myself up to him. We both want the same things for our futures...and have the same ideals. I don't want anymore kids, I don't want to be married. We are both the supporters of the household, and both of us are with lazy people who don't do a thing around the house, or in bed. I don't know why I am even writing this.....but I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it. He makes me feel like someone. And I trust him whole-heartedly
Maybe you should start buying a mirror and look at yourself. Love is love and you can't undo what you have done or change the situation. People are people and they make mistakes too. I think you should start reading those children books where they say, Do not Judge others". Most girls who fell in Love with a MM, they don't mean it. It was just two heart that understood each other. Sometimes, it actually happens at the wrong time. But you still have to choose what you want to value.. Love or self-respect.
I am falling in love with a married man that is a friend of mine. I have been attracted to him for a long time. This past Christmas he bought me a gorgeous Hermes scarf. When I questioned it he told me that he is crazy about me and has been for some time. I would and will never have a relationship with a married man and told him that. He said he respects that and it just makes him love me more. We have no physical relationship, however cannot avoid each other because we work together. He is not happy in his marriage and I know this because I know his wife also. So....I am not having a relationship with him until he divorces her and that has to be his own choice. We will see....
I have read your article and I have been down the same path and I feel like I am about to explode. In my situation, the guy that I was seeing and still is, he is m...... and have kids by his w... but also has a kid by me. I feel like he did it on purpose. I don't know who he is trying to prove to but it is not working at all. When we first met, he was the one that I ever wanted in a man but he was married but seperated for almost 3 years.You are right, it is hard for the man to leave his wife if they have kids together. It is kind of hard to leave because I have a baby by him too..She is 6 months of age right now. Everytime I look at her, I am looking at him by reflection and it hurts. I don't know what to do at this moment. I am always thinking about him all the time and it seems as though I can't get him outta my head and it irritates me to the point that I just want to loose it. He said that he wanted to be with before I got preggo and told me he loved and everything and now its like you messed up my life and now i got to be with my wife and yatti yatti yaw. I dont know what to do right now...What should I do?
I read your article & can TOTALLY relate! i have been in a relationship with a married man for 2 1/2 years. i've been knowing him since i was 15, but knew of him since the age of 11. i just happen to get out of a reltaionship prior to him, amd somehow, we started talking as friends & it escalated love, and i feel VERY miserable. he tells me that he's gonna divorce his wife, and that's been 2 1/2 years ago. i'm trying my best to give him an ultimatum, but if its not meant to be, i guess i'll have to move on. but i know its gonna hurt like HELL! i hate feeling this way and gonna ask the Lord to let that devil untie my hands from the back & set me free. yes, Jesus take the wheel. FEELING HOPELESS!
In- I feel your pain :(
Angel-He hasn't written back or called. . . I think it hurt him but then again i think it was best... Althoug im still hurt that i broke it off i think it hurt more knowing he hasn't written back or called. . . Just goes to show that he wasn't concerned about working things out. =(
Its been 2 months since he ended it...after nearly 3 years of emailing, texting, visiting, calling, sleeping with, having tea with, watching hockey with, it is still over...

I guess I kinda thought he would at least think about me or try to contact me, and yes my hope would be that he would change his mind. Well I feel like such a loser cause obviously that hasn't happened. What hurts the most, knowing that I ultimately meant nothing to his life. He will go on like I was never in it, and I am left sitting here alone and crying.

He just deactivate his email account tonight, I sent an email wishing him well (he was in the hospital Wednesday) and it got returned. I guess now I realize its over.

I don't know what to do or where to start.
The riveting and noble Mr. Prophet vovola. You should by rights, be given a throne for your majestic-ness and wisdom. You have taught me the wisest thing ever about magic and energy which vovolaspellcast did for me. You showed me that magic happens all over the place, it is a natural source and it’s all around us at any given time. It surrounds us and is part of us, we can tap into this wonderful energy at any time and use it for the good of self, and others to manifest what our hearts desires are. You are a true inspiration. Thank you for bringing my husband back vovolaspellcast . Love and Light. Paul
I have had an affair with married man for 5 years. Felt deeply in love with him, thought that he was my soulmate. Even went on to such a serious step as having a baby with him. I have an 8 months old son now from him and my baby is everything to me. Of course nothing changed he didnt leave his wife and kids, I didnt really expect him do it. Then I broke up with him, we were apart for 2 months. Then for whatever reason I was dying to see him and missed his company badly, so eventually we met up. One thing led to another, we had s*x, was great, after we met up couple more times, we had s*x as well. Then I wanted to know all the truth if he was sleeping with his wife, having s*x with her. So I started to really press him down with questions and he told me to my shock(I know,i know, like what I expected, he is married after all) that yes, and he did (make love) her all the time as he did me.
I am so torn out, I ended everything with him that second, deleted everything, number from mobile, all texts, emails, deleted him from my facebook, even deactivated my fb account, all the pictures we had together. he lied to me, about all his "love" for me, all other sutff, dont know what to believe now anymore.
Such a pain inside, I have to deal with it for our son.

I want his wife to know. I am going to write her, not going into details or anything no need for that, just tell simply that she is not only one in his life. I want to breakl his heart, and turn his life upside down like he did mine. And if it will involve breaking his wife's heart too, well I cant help it. At the end of the day will be for her own good. I would want to know in her place. and it will be only her decision whether she swallows this stuff or she will be strong enough to kick him out.
IN I'd like to ask how are you after that text...i mean he was clearly just waiting on you to 'break up'...i hope you're doing well... Ladies one thing i realized, maybe we feel special or they make us feel special because they make us feel that we are 'better' that their wives...and ofcourse that'll make us feel good, who wouldn't want to be better than someone else...cant blame anyone...since i,myself dont know how to get out of this situation...may we'll never know...guess this is just the sequence...we know they are married from the start...and this is just more of the loveed up truth...
I have been reading your post and that of others. Yes im in love with a married man, i met him 10years ago in the workplace and things at first were exciting and we went out had some good times and then his wife found out and hunted me at the workplace. two years later he turned up at my doorstop telling me he was going to leave his wife and that he'd missed me so much and of course i had missed him and started seeing him again, how silly am i he'd hurt me so much but i still loved him and we starting to see each other again. A year later his wife found out yet again surprise, suprise he dumped me for her after all the false promises. another nearly 3 years went past and i got over him would still see him in the workplace but found it hard to speak to him even though he had put me through so much mental torture. Slowly we started talking again and yes like a fool im seeing him again. This time hes told me there's nothing going on at home and that he loves me, i am hook line and sinker in love with him and know its going to end in tears but i really want him in my life. Im in my late 30s and now single because of this. I have tried so many times to walk away but it hurts so much and i need to move on with my life. I have askesd him to leave her or leave me alone but he wont even now talk about it. I dont know whether its my company he likes out the house or in the bedroom but we dont sleep together much so cant understand why hes come back to me twice and if he loved me why hes doing this to me.. Advice please somebody
if only i could of read your posts before it happened to me iv just been dumped in the most unbelievable way by the married man who was (SEPARATED) but still living in the family home until he could find somewere else so we did the same stuff he gave me his number i wasnt sure what to do then i txt him he started calling me we went out to meet and kiss he came to my house before work to chat then we booked a hotel room and the inevitable happened everything was lovely we kept this up for a few months then he suggested we got a place of our own but couldnt find the money for a deposit so i found it then i got us a house to rent and that's when it all went wrong he made every excuse in the book not to move in but he kept setting the date for when he would be moving and every time the day came he drop another excuse in not to so id get upset and cry constantly but the worst thing was he had a daughter who worked with us at our store and he told everyone he was with me but failed to point it out to his poor daughter and then d day came someone asked her what she thought of her dad seeing me and she went home and told her mum and dad my boyfriend and he sent me a txt saying lockdown which meant we have been found out and then it snowballed from there he told me if she asked me to deny everything she called me one evening to tell me he had told her that he loves me but he hadnt slept with me so i denied everything like he told me to and then he asked me to transfer from work to another store and thats when alarm bells started to ring then i went to his friends house to talk to his friend and he was parked outside so i got into his car and he had his wedding ring on so i challanged him and he started with the lies again so i attacked him i smacked him and kept smacking him and he bit my face so we had to calm down and then his friend came home and asked us both in we both put our sides accross and his friend seemed to take my side but then mr married man decided to lie some more and tell me he had been kidnapped by some gangsters and threatened to stay away from me he then changed his mobile number and that was the last i saw of him the man who i was supposed to marry the man who said i was the best thing to ever happen to him and an angel that had been gifted to him so no dont get involved with a married man
I loved your post. It made me think a lot about my situation. I work with a guy who is married that i just got too head over heels for. although he is 35 and i am 24, i feel so crazy about him and i think he is perfect. He is lovey, makes me laugh and is an all around good time. Its really hard to think about him with someone else...aka his wife... but i kind of also feel flattered that he is coming onto me. Why me? what makes me so different than any other girl that he decides to cheat on his wife of about 4 years with me? It just makes me wonder. I wish i could just not see him and then get over him, but i work with him, and our jobs go hand in hand, so i have to see him. He went out of town on a business trip for 5 days and while he was gone, i felt like i could just get over him. I am not in love, but more "in love" with the idea of possibly being in love with him. After her came back, the second i saw him i went directly back to the way i felt. I just dont understand what he wants. We only slept together once, so its like we are developing a bond like emotional relationship, other than the love only relationship. I just dont know what to do about this! He is everything i want, but i just cant have. He has a 4 year old son with his wife. I really dont think he will leave his wife for me, but sometimes i just wonder WTF it is he wants to happen?!?! he cannot have his cake and eat it too!!
Ok so i got a response back. "Im not really sure what to say to that....... Your 'Breaking up' with me in a sense, in a text message.Its as humorous as it is insulting. But i guess its not entirely unexpected. You seem to be more prepared for future plans than i am. I guess im sorry if you feel you've wasted time on me..." I am already regretting sending that last text =(
I currently have a relationship with a married man, he's married for a year with his 8 yr gf...they have a son. When i read ur post about him not giving up when you were "shooing" him away, being romantic and all, that's how my bf is as well, he's everything i wanted in a man actually. He keeps on saying that he and his wife are not living together, he only goes to the wife to see their baby, he said that he's doing something to leave his wife and be with me. I dont know if that is true or is that even possible. He tells me and everyone at work that he loves me so much, we're co-workers btw. When my friends went to his child's bday they told me that he an his wife are obviously not working out, he tells me how horrible his wife is. What should i believe? Will this guy really leave his wife and be with me??? HELP!!!
Ok so Im married and he is married. Im to the same point where you said you were wondering where things were going to go. I have been with him for almost 3 years this June =/ I have the idea im about to tell him i cant go on with this anymore but i have some strong feeling s for him. I even asked him If i were go move back to town if he would move in with me. . . .KINDA A BAD QUESTION TO ASK I KNOW! But i asked it. . . it made things a little awkward when i saw him last night. But we kinda set it to the side. I have an idea he wont leave his wife for me if i were to leave my husband for him. And i thank you for writing this and helping me pull my head out of my and making me realize that him leaving his wife is harder than i thought it would be. Knowing it would be kind of hard for me to up and leave my husband too but were on different terms than they are. Its hard and im very grateful that there are others out there in my situation and can share their experiences. Cant exactly talk to my family or BEST FRIENDS about it. Will keep u posted when i cut the relationship. . .
Wow....meow! Do not judge other people. I am sure you are not perfect yourself. Btw...name calling is the lowest form of bullying. Get a life, and leave other people to theirs...good or bad.
all whores. love and lust are different
Well, I haven't had an affair but I'm am major lusting over my husband's best friend/my best friend's husband. They're one in the same. I came clean about my feelings to my husband 2 years ago before we got married. Our friends were already married. My husband told him and he his wife. (Found that out a few months later) Anyway, I have been able to have self control for periods of time, but when things suck between my husband and I the lustful feelings come right back. I thought we were about to break off our friendship with them, just because my friendship w/ the wife wasn't going so well, but then out of the blue, he calls my husband and wants us to come over for dinner. Absolutely terrible timing, as my husband and I are not exactly doing well. I had been thinking about him, although telling myself I shouldn't, and then he calls. I am absolutely head over heel for this guy but don't think it would really work out anyway if WE were married. The terrible thing is that unless we break off our mutual friendships I have to continue being around this guy. I think he has feelings for me too, either that or he just likes the attention. Or I'm just misreading him, but I don't think I am. Anyway the loveual tension is strong that I pass within a foot of him and I get goosebumps. Gee. This sucks. I know I need to exercise self control and that if we were to have an affair it would only end in misery for everyone, but man it's so hard!!! Anyway, just needed to tell someone. Hope all you people reading this either don't do it or break it off.
Best stories of love abroad.

I just turned 29 this year 2012, goodlooking woman, single and attractive. Eversince when i was 20 years old, in my College days, i always being involved with a married man. i have destoyed once a family. Because this Guy likes me alot even though i dont give him my attention because i am not interested.

When i reached the age of 26 in year 2009. I struggled and live my life in other countries to find a better job and to help my family. Just to survive the hard lifestyle we had in our country that was the time when we lost our father. We live in a high social life when he was still alive, and when he was gone, all our wealth was taken by our relatives claiming it was for them and not ours.

When i was in Doha Qatar. I felt so lonely, boring because i was far away with my loved ones. I joined the dating site, where it all started Best stories of love abroad. Where i meet this Local Guy (Qatari man) sad to say but he is a family man/ a very much Married man with children and now he has having a grand children. I'm dating a guy a lot older than me, and when I'm saying a lot, I mean A LOT older than me. He doubled my age and he is 58 years of age. Well in perfect description, he is very kind hearted, extremely modest, open-minded with a high sense of humor. He is very active sports wise. He loves romantic movies and music. For me he is a perfect man i ever meet in my whole life, i see him as my soul mate, i dont care about his wrinkles, though he is old but he have a black hair i mean Alhamdulillah he is very healthy and no strands of white/grey on his hair. He makes me feel like I've never felt with anyone before he is quite a classy man. We share the same interests and there is genuine chemistry between us in everything we do (love included). AGE IS A MATTER OF NUMBER TO US. He is very strong becuase he played alot of sports indoor, and he make me weak everytime he touches me.

Unfortunately, many (actually most) people don't see it that way. My family in Philippines doesnt know about the relation i entered, only my sister knows about him. Some colleagues judge me negatively even my flat mates in my accomodation. they are very curious of me as a person. Now we have been together for 2 years now, seldom we been seeing each other during my vacant time at work in the morning and when he is free to go out alone and before he goes to his office. Maybe we are seeing each other for 2-3 times a month. and their are also times that only once a month because he travelled alot and spent their family vacation abroad, and that makes me feel so weak he is so far away from me. I felt absolutely happy, even though I didn't see him every day and we could never stay together at night. I know it's wrong but I have no friends, and no family here. He is the only person I have. Well we keep this relationship and we are in love with each other. I just can't be without him, he is my life.

Besides the big age gap, he happens to be quite wealthy and very famous in this country, so that doesn't make things easier for us either. In people's minds the math goes lke this: cute,young girl + rich,older man = she wants him for his money.

But in our case, it's not like that at all. I trully love him and I sometimes when ever he gives me an allowance he doesnt give it to my face, i mean hand it to me on my palm because im too shy when it comes to money matters, he just slide it inside my pouche or in my bag wallet. Sometimes im being to materialistic to him, but he alwyas install in my mind that it is not good. When ever we are dating i see to it i bring or buy food for us, never let him pay it. And i am now open minded not to ask him to give me extremely expensive gifts because it just doesn't feel right to me.

We are still together from Good times and in bad times. He is always their to protect and care for me. And i showered him all my love.
I cannot explain how much i love him. Im deeply inlove with a married man. Affairs with married man are more common than to all now. I love this relation. He's adorable and fun. He's sweet and good to me and he makes me feel like im walking in the clouds. He's everything I wanted and more. The problem is that he's married. Like he has a wife, a home, family. He's that kind of married.

The last time he said we had to end up I felt really bad, actually, I've been looking for some way to suicide, but its Haram and you will go directly to naraka.I don't want to do things I used to, I can't sleep for the whole night, I am not hungry. I'm so sad, and I'm so angry because I think he is not loving me anymore , i cant even concentrate to my work and always staring and checking my mobile if i received 1 sms will make my day, and it just can't keep me alive. Love works as a drug on us. He decided this because i pissed him off sending him 100 sms a day and call his mobile 100 times too. Which is very risky on his
It seems I am not the norm here. I am 46 and separated from my husband. My paramour is 37. He is married with two small children. I pursued him. He was obviously attracted to me, but did not want to engage in a physical relationship. I finally convinced him. I never wanted him to leave his wife because I am very busy with parental obligations and work and school, so having a man part-time is ideal. He's smart, romantic, funny and incredible at love-making- the best I have ever had. He used the word love before I did. Well, his wife found out- she caught us having lunch- really eating food. She made a big scene. I haven't heard from him- it's been a week. I am in the process of divorcing my husband. I am heartbroken- I weep every day for the loss of this incredible man. I know I can find another man in a heartbeat- I am very attractive, but I am in love with him and am willing to take him fulltime now. I know he is not leaving her because of the children. I respect that. I feel like I lost my best friend. So, I am in pain like many of you here. Best of luck to us all.
Im a married woman in secret relationship with my besfrend ex bf who is married also...worst he is a co worker we usually bumped into each other...I cant resisr his charm.......he is too good...
I am 27 yrs old and i started a relationship with a MM several months ago. We had met for work 4 yrs before seeing each other again, we met for work again this year (2012) and both him and I felt a connection.
He called me that same night to ask a "work related" question. Then the emailing started the day after which moved on to text messaging and phone calls and shortly after that meeting up after work before he went home to his wife and 2 little kids.
We talked all the day.. and all night after his wife went to sleep and we would meet up after work.
It all started with "innocent flirting" and enjoying the attention we both got from each other until the first kiss.. We both started having feelings and would openly talk about it and wanted to figure out what was there that stopped us from walking away when we both knew it was wrong.
All along i was against what I was doing by being involved with a MM and kept trying to end it, but he wouldnt allow it to end. He always reassured me and i think he truly believed that he wanted to be with me and the love/connection with his wife was never there from the start.
He said he was happy with me and wanted us to work it all out together as he wanted things to work out between the two of us.
My fear all along was if and when his wife finds out he will leave me to deal with all the emotions, hurt and the consequences of the ending of this relationship by myself and will forget all his promises that he would never leave me behind, he would never let me go, if he cant go on a day without us talking then there is no way he could walk away etc.
his wife found out about this couple of weeks a go. he came clean about what was going on and told her that more than anything it was an emotional connection and involvement than a physical one.
he decided to do the right thing and stay with her and work on the marriage as he owed her that after so many years of being married and felt guilty to leave her and the kids.
For a week after this he would call me every night wanting reassurance that he did the right thing by staying there with them. He was struggling to let go but felt helpless and didnt think he was in a position to leave a young family for me. Every time he called in that week it would give me hope that i would hear something different to "we have to end" but each time the conversation ended with "i have to stay and do the right thing". it felt like he broke up with me every night and each time it hurt more than the night before.
We finally met after that week and said good bye face to face.
in the last 2 wks we have had few short conversations over emails and text messages.. maybe 3 or 4 times.
Probably the reason for that was just to see how the other person is doing and if they are ok.
its been extremely hard for me to forget him and to move on. It went from things being so good between him and i and both of us being happy together with him giving me so much hope that things will be ok and we will work things out together to ending the relationship.
He apologized several times for what he did but it doesnt make any of this easier for me.
He is more than likely healing with his wife and can probably suppress his feelings as he is a man, he can distract himself with his family and look at them every time he needs a reason as to why he made this decision, however i dont have any of that to make me feel ok with this decision or help me give up hope that maybe... one day... we will be together without any obstacles. I keep telling myself if there was no love or connection between him and his wife then what are they really working on? there was never anything for them to work on and get back... eventually he will be sick of being unhappy and will leave his wife to be happy again with me.
as wrong as being involved with a MM is and people may point the finger at the OW and blame them and tell them its their fault and they deserve to be hurt and left behind etc... it doesnt make the healing process for the OW any easier.
Break ups. being hurt. being rejected or left behind regardless of what the situation is, is painful and hard.
Hope anyone thinking of getting involved with a MM can read these comments and think twice about what they are getting themselves into.
You may think your in control. you may think you will be ok like most of us did, but once your involved you have no control or say over the situation.
You will see, speak to them when it suits them and live on their schedule and when they decide its over.. you are left to deal with all the emotions.

So I've been seeing a guy in relationship for 8 months. We met in work and within 2 weeks it all started...We get on so well and theres real chemistry. Im 32, He's 39. He's not married and has no kids but has been in with her for 10 years. He is a very close work colleague of mine and I see him every day. I left my own husband very early on (because I felt there was something fundamentally wrong with my marriage if I was doing this and having such feelings). He stayed with his and loves her like a sister but is not in love with her nor is he attracted to her. He said their whole relationship should never have happened but started their relationship was based on him helping her grieve through the loss of her dad whrn they first met. He has never been in love with her and they have love 3 times a year and it makes him feel 'weird' when it happens. We fell in love and he told me he was going to find a way to leave her but felt so guilty as he's never been able to commit/marry/commit for kids. She's now 40 and he feels he's ruined her life as she's always wanted kids. She found out about us 2 months ago. He is now nailing himself to the cross, being the martyr and cannot leave her as he said it would be like stabbing her in the face after the hurt she is going through. He still kisses me and tells me he's mad about me but has a caring love for her and his guilt is driving him mad, and is seeing where it goes because he just does not know what to do. She gave him an ultimatum and told him he needs to leave his job or she'll leave but he hasn't done anything. He says he is depressed and confused and doesn't know what he wants. He tells me I am everything he wants but cannot ignore 10 years of relationship and the guilt would kill him if he just upped and left. I am intelligent, attractive and a catch in normal situation... I feel like a train crash, abandoned, rejected and desperately confused, He tells me he wants me to be happy and if that means losing me while he sorts his crap out then thats what will have to be... I am crazy in love with him. I want to wait, but should I just move on. Its so hard when I see him everyday. She was suicidal, has hit the bottle and gives him abuse every night. She texts me abuse and he defends me which drives her even more mental. What the hell should I do? Its my dream job, as is his... Its all so hideous.
I'm in love with a married man. He's been married for 5 years, I have been married for 21 years. My husband and I are not having the best time lately and things are not going well. On top of that I'm about to turn 40 so part of me thinks this is a mid-life crisis. I met him at a work conference. He had worked with me for years but I had never really met him. I had sent him a few accidental messages a year or so back thinking he was someone else (someone with a similar name)but that's all. Well it was just before Xmas and we met at the train station. He was cute, sweet and just nice to me. He paid attention to me like no man had before. There were a few moments where you could tell he was intrigued by me, where he flirted with me openly but not much else. I remember when he looked at me from across the table it was like I was the only woman in the room. It made my hear melt. I can still remember that look, the way his eyes were fixated on me.

A few weeks went by and Xmas was over. I sent him a message asking him how his life was and if he had a nice Xmas. I got a sweet reply back saying he was alright but did not have a lot of time to spend. I offered him a drink, but he turned me down. This went on for a week or so and eventually he came down for lunch. We hit it off from the first second.

After our first lunch we said to each other that it was nice and that we should do it again. We agreed to meet again. Which we have been doing now since January.

Every lunch he has opened up more and more to me. He tells me a bit more, whispers sweet nothing to me and calls me his angel. I can't deny that I love it. In fact I fantasize about him. We both have agreed that we don't want to hurt anyone so we are being friends. We are fooling each other if we don't think something is going to happen. Its only a matter of time. I know this, he knows this. I know and he knows that our feelings for each other are growing stronger.

Then one day, we went for a walk it was a really warm day. He turned to me and said it was really nice to talk to you today, and that he had missed talking to me. When I got back to my office there was a beautiful message waiting for me. I could not have been more pleased. He sends me poetry and is so sweet to me. I help him relax and he helps me be who I really am. We complement each other perfectly.

Now, he wants to go out for drinks. I'm not the best drinker lets just say. If I drink I confess all. I will turn into a massive prostitute. I'm happy to go out for drinks with him. But my worry is that something will happen. Our feelings for each other are stronger than they have ever been. The chemistry between us is amazing like no man ever. All this situation needs is a bit of social lubricant (LOL) and we will be all over each other like lustful teenagers. I want him, really I do but part of me knows that this is a really bad situation and that I am playing with fire. I read all your replies here and it appears that I'm not the only person in an emotional affair. Thanks for reading this.
contact the ****** - at - Yahoo! for help. He can help you solve your problems i use him before to retrieve back my lost lover and today we happily together again.
I am a man that was married and having an affair with a married women for 5 years. I fell in love with the women and decided it was not fair for my wife and divorced her. I did have dreams of marrying my mistress but once I got divorced, my married lover walked away from my life. So, it goes both ways here. I still do not regret my divorce because it is not fair to my ex-wife and she deserves a better person. I have learned from my mistakes and I will never do this again. I will never mess with a married women. If any women is interested in a married man, PLEASE STOP! I know we want what we can't have but there is NOTHING at the end of the tunnel. You just hurt yourself and if you are married the other person. Get a divorce first if you are willing to cheat, it is not worth it. I put myself in my ex-wife's shoes and I decided and I wouldn't want to be with a cheated so I got divorced. She never found out about the affair but I just could not live with such a big lie.
These stories make me very sad. I came to this site because the guy I'm interested in got married while he was in the military. He's out now and he is separated from his wife. He's even had another relationship since her. We have a long distance friendship now and he asked if we could have something more serious but I wanted him to get a divorce first. He was ok with it, but he asked me if I could help pay for his divorce. I don't know how I should feel about this and I don't really want to talk to anyone about it...any advice?
What stands out to me is that most who've posted here don't blame either the cheating man or their wives. But the women are asking for help. I've been both the wife and the mistress. Usually most women get mixed up with these guys when they are at a low point. The cheating guy consoles you and you buy into the lie that they really care for you. Then you are selfish and causing him pain when you raise your concerns. He becomes your life. You love everything about him. You feel like without him you'll be miserable. You are constantly worried for him.

Nothing he's telling you is true. He is using you. He doesn't love you. He would turn on you in an instant. You aren't special and he's not in love. And very likely you are not the first and if you know this then it's not different with you from the "others".

I was lied to and used and betrayed and eventually got over it. It took almost two years with counseling. Google and You tube the word Narcissist and Getting Over A Narcissist. These guys are sick. Later the only thing you'll be grateful for is that you aren't the wife.

Best of luck to you ladies!
I could not agree with you more. I just ended my affair with my married neighbor. Im sad, I feel in love with him, Im hoping that he will come to me. But you know what I am so glad that I had the respect for myself to end it. He can NOT have his cake and eat it too...he can NOT have both of us...if he wants me he will have to leave her first...I'm standing my ground...Im sorry about all of your pain...but it has helped me to be even stronger to stay away from him. I hope all of you whom are having affairs will read this and STOP...its the best thing you could do. If he really loves you like he says he does...stop the contact..cut the cord...if he loves you he will come to you...and not still married. Please women do it for yourselves.
Wow, my heart is so broken, my soul is so bent my mind body and spirit are very badly damaged... I cry everytime we talk in my case most of the days I breath.. how did this happen... we met 13 years ago we knew we had something the very first moment we were intorduced.. so we soent most of our time togather and 6 months ago it went to a different level.. he has no connection with his wife he tells me he truley loves me very much and always tells me someday sweets someday.. his excuse is heh as kids and it would kill them if he left and he will not be a every other weekend father. I know he loves me but he starting to back off because i want to much and his exact words are i cant just leave right now i have to make sure my kids have a home to live in and i am soo much in debt... i knew we would end up togather just not this soon.. the timming is off.. its going to be a long road but i know we have something.. so here i am willing to wait the rest of my life for him ... i wass in a 20 year marriage left for other reasons and for him to leave his wife.. its not going to happen... i am not even myself anymore.. i have become sooo dark soo broken so hungry for every phone call from him every chance to get to see him and they are staring to get farther apart.. he tells me i say the most caring, loving things about him that give him hope and make him feel happy... well im not im crushed.... i feel like my life is over and everyone i meet will be a waste because its not him... im a complete mess. im tinking on getting help to improve my self estem because i feel so used , like no one else can like me because im dating/ in love with and sleeping with a married man, a father with two young girls... i also have two daughters.. what are we teaching them and at the same time i dont care because he has consumed my whole life..... im so sad al the time. just writting this i am crying so hard...
I have been in the same kind of situation too. Both of us are married , literally we are each others lovers. Hard part of it is we live in different countries too and see each other every 2 years. He has 2 kids now, wife is preggy on the 3rd, and meanwhile I am here with my husband living the so called charmed life. I have no plans of leaving my family yet I am miserable at times.I still do think of him and I know that he wont leave his family too. It is a no win situation.It has been 3 years already & I am still having a hard time forgetting him. I guess I never want to forget him in the first place. But it is already understood that we are headed for nothing,
Ann, I'm starting to live a similar situation. During a trip abroad and very unexpectedly I met this man. He's in his 50s, I in my 40s, very grown up people both of us! We're both married for a very long time, he has kids I don't. We spent 2 days together and were the happiest of our lives. This happened 1 month ago. He told me he thought his life was through living just the routine of job-home-job. Never expected to meet and fall in love again at this point of his life, my situation is quiet the same. We live in very distant different countries but Im coming to him in 3months time. We speak or txt everyday, we feel in love, we missed each other, we cant wait to be together now that we have come to know each other much better. The thing is that I feel so moved by his feelings for me, I cry out of joy many times. He says he floats instead of walking :) I chose to trust him and believe him and being totally honest, eventhough we both think we have to wait and see what happens when we are together again, I feel that this will get only stronger. What to do after that? I dont want to think about it! I just want to hop on the airplane and go to him... To tell you the truth I never thought this would go on after those 2 lovely days but he never allowed a single day without getting in touch with me, so much, so intensely that I pulled out this new trip to see him out of nowhere. I believe you sometimes have to live life and this is it for this is our reality now, we are driven to each other like magnets! I believe we just have to go for it. He told me yesterday never doubt him, he's willing to pay any price just to have me there by his side and he doesnt mean $. It's scary at moments, very. Thats why I came in to this site but every advice is descouraging. Personally, I believe anything is possible!
I am having an affair with a married man as well and really need some advise. He's 38 and I'm 27 and we've been seeing each other for about 3 months now. He's a friend of my ex and right after my ex and I broke up I ran into him at the bar and that started the whole affair. We also have a mutual friend that told me that he has been unhappy in his marriage for months (he's only been married for 9 months). So I figured it was ending and why not. Well he still won't leave his wife for financial reasons and his son lives with them. I just continue to hear that he's so unhappy and wants to leave her not for me but for himself but doesnt have the money to find a nice place. Should I stick it out or am I just being played? I card about him a lot and we have so much fun together. He has a son and she has 2 so they don't have children together. I know that it's wrong but should I cut it off or give him an ultimatum? Would love some responses please!!
How do you really move on? I feel like I can't and it's so pathetic.
well, i'm NOT in this situation, but as i'm here, you can understand i was looking for something like this. i actually searched for "how to get a married man fall in love with you" and that got me here.

i have this teacher at my university, who shows interest in me. he's married and has a child who is 4 years old. he's 33 and i'm 23. i have heard from his friends that the's so not happy with his wife and that their marriage is going to end soon. my heart has been broken before, i am very down all the time because of this. i really needed someone's support in a time like this, someone to show that i'm cared about. and this guy has been doing just that. just as you said, sometimes it feels he's just the one i want. he's mature, he's caring, he's smart. and he likes me too. he keeps giving me hints, not intentionally i think, and this feels so irresistible. we talk often and meet too. i just do not know where it's going. sometimes i feel so helpless because he's so irresistible, and i want to be loved the way he gives me the feeling he will love me.
wow. Not everyone who is married will be happy ALL the time, and just because he's not happy with his wife now doesn't mean he will leave her especially if it means leaving his little boy. In this particular situation you are a true homewrecker; only considering your own selfish needs of acceptance without giving a manure about the woman who is his wife or the little boy who calls him daddy. You won't find happiness with this man and it will only lead to further heartbreak...but seeing as you are the type of woman to only take you're own feelings into consideration this might be exactly what you need. good luck to you and your path of confusion and heartbreak.
Men will complain at one point of their marriage..doesn't mean he doesn't love his wife..When a man wants to cheat..he will say negative things about his wife,etc..so the other woman won't feel guilty about sleeping with a married man! WAKE UP!
Title: Ways To Make A Married Man Leave His Wife For You Best Advise [8288]
Tags: well if you are reading my post is most likely you are probably in love with some married guy
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