I am deeply in love with a married man. He is my high school first love. We re connected 2 years ago via Reunion dot com and stayed in contact daily via emails, then we created our own Google site that we just he and I share. We opened up to one another and discovered each have never been happily married.

The trouble is that I am honest enough to admit that and I have left my husband and moved several states away to be close to my love whom kept telling me how miserable he was and how much he needed me, how he was so ill and even considered suicide. I made all the sacrifices. He has made none. He has not been honest with the wife at all. She has never loved him, hates his body and fun is just a duty that she will perform or rather let be performed upon her as she keeps asking if he's done yet. He hasn't had fun with her in months now.

He and I have been making love since I have been out here less than two hours from where he lives for this past month. I make him happy, satisfied and he feels loved and cherished with me. He said he searched for me for 30 years because he knew deep inside that I was the one. He told me he never really wanted to marry her but didn't want to hurt her feelings and went through with it. They have two college age daughters. All she wants out of him is the financial security of his paycheck since she doesn't like to work and works a merchandiser job that doesn't pay much or give health benefits to help with the medical bills.

He has several health issues that are costly and he must pay well over what his insurance will pay for. She is a filthy slob who expects him to do all the chores and cleaning even though he works hard nine plus hours most days. While she was gone for a week visiting family several states away, he brought me over to his house to stay with him. I could not believe the filth she left behind for him to deal with. I was so disgusted and I cleaned up her house. It was unsanitary. I wonder how she would feel about that if she knew it was me who cleaned up that house? I even folded her laundry that was in big piles in the den.

He is mostly afraid she will be bitter and vengeful and turn his daughters away from him. He is so much more relaxed and happy now that I am in his life. But he doesn't know how to leave her. She can't support herself on her own as she is so damn selfish, self centered, lazy and dependent. I have told him I don't care a whit about his money that she could have it all and the house and all the possessions. All I want is him and all I want is for him to be living with me so that I can get him healthy and happy. I have a great job with great benefits.

If he were with me all of his health care would be covered. But most of all, he would be truly happy for the first time in his life. But he can't dcope with the guilt she pours on him. I have told him that he will lose me if he doesn't choose me over that miserable life he shares with that selfish cold hearted frigid woman. He even told me they went to counseling five years ago where it came out that she thinks the male body is hideous and that she despised his body. She sounds like she's a dyke who is hiding in the closet to make sure to keep up appearances for the community, etc. She has been mean, insulting and very demanding of him. She only started trying to be nice when he had an affair five years ago and she was afraid of losing her "bread winner".

I hate the thought of leaving him in that misery without any respite which is me but I get so hurt and angry every time she keeps he and I from sharing our time and love together and that he allows it. I have asked him to be honest with her and tell her that he will never be happy with her and no amount of "work" she does to try to make it better between them will ever work. Love should never have to be "work" to do and it certainly never feels like love when someone has to "work" at it. Every time he says he doesn't know how he can leave her I get so angry that I am very tempted to show up at the house after he goes to work as I know she sleeps in until 11 am most days and goes into work whenever she damn well pleases.

I will soon have a weekday off every week and be working Saturdays instead so I will have that opportunity. I have been reading other's experiences here but I can't help it. I can't stand this anymore and if he doesn't "man" up and be honest then I may just explode and let her in on this big secret he's been hiding from her for two years.