How To Stop Cheating On My Wife

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That has got to be the WORST bit of advise Ive heard in a long time! No, u shudnt jus keep on living your life and doing whatever u want. And Life wasnt given to us just so we can do WUTEVER we want and fullfill our own selfish desires.... We are here to serve others, not just ourselves. This is our God given duty. Cheating is wrong and it causes pain to both the cheated on victim and the cheater...... I know cus I have been cheating for som YEARS now on my partner and Imma tell u...... Im dying on the inside. I too find it almost impossible to quit, especially when I feel down or find myself out of work or my woman at home doest want love etc....... I tend to find any reason to cheat and so-called "Satisfy" my lusts inside me........But, I am NEVER and I mean NEVER trully satisfied. Believe it or not..... It is the devil at work in our lives, influencing us, putting ides into ur head and if those ideas/temptatio are thought on long enuff.... You will " and the devil knows it"u will eventually act on those thoughts if thought about for too long! Wehave to get hip to the devils tricks and seek God for His divine intervention. I know I do and I just pray I get it together B4 its too late.

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I am a 32 year old men I also struggle from cheating I don't know how to stop. help

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don't stop at all if the one your married too is not giving you the attention you need and deserve then continue until you decide when is it enough why live your entire live unhappy and sad just to please the one you thought was the man. i have learned you only live once so you as well enjoy every minute of it

I have been married for 5 years and have 2 little kids. I have been cheating on my husband with someone I met online for about a month now. My husband's always in a bad mood and never wants to have love. I want to stop this but the satisfaction and excitement I get from seeing the other person is insane. I know it's wrong and not in a million years I would ve thought I'd be in this situation.At home I feel unappreciated, ugly and just not good enough, and the attention I now noticed I get from other men wanna make me continue. How do I stop?

Well I'm married to a beautiful woman, honest and true and all the good stuff,she loves me to death and will do anything for me, But the thing about I can't stop cheating...I will stop for a while then I will continue doing it again I feel so sorry when she cry and become all stressed out...I need help. Cus I know one day she would leave me for good!! please help..

My boyfriend and i have been together for a little over 2 yrs. In this time we now have an 8 month old. I have caught him cheating over the internet several times. Never actually physically. We have stayed together for the sake of our child. We have tried working on our relationship and things always seem better, until I go spying and always find something. I'm to the point where I dont know what to do. I do love him, but because I haven't cheated I dont understand why he does these things. Is there any help for him? I need advice and he does want help.

Chick, I'm in the exact same position as you are, I really felt like I wrote your post. I have been in a 4 year relationship and I always find something, emails, texts, phone calls... I have confronted him and every time he swears and promises it will never happen again, but I spy around and keep finding things..what did you do? Did you get any advise?

i am a wife that cheats and understand these husbands. My husband knows because i told him. i wanted to leave so i wouldn't hurt him, but he wants to stay together... i still want to cheat should i leave?

Yes you should leave. If you dont want to stop cheating please leave him

this website changes the word S*X to "love" that's where "loveual" comes from, or we "had love". Just realized this.

Can you pleas just tell me what "loveual" means?

Have been cheating on my wife with my ex girlfriends, how can i stop this silly act. i love my wife .

have been cheating on my wife with my ex girlfriends. one is even asking me to take her as my second wife. what is the way out i love my wife. i did not want to break my girl friends heart oh help me out.

Wow I jusr read that last message, and it sounded so familiar I actually had to check the date to see if it wasnt something I wrote a while back.

The first time i ever cheated on my wife was the first time i had love. i was in a relationship with my wife and i was a virgin.. we were not married at the time but i knew that i was a cheater then.. this was ten years ago.. fast forward to now and i am not having love but we have been married for over two years now and i have been cheating on her for practically our entire marriage.. I am a man of God and i do Love the Lord. i just always thought how could this happen to me.. I am intellectually attracted to this young lady i was familiar with before i met my wife; and for the last year i have been talking to the young lady on and off. I told my wife within the first three months and i was not willing to change. Then as time went on i started to hide the fact that i was talking to this young lady and found myself blaming my wife for my cheating.. At the present day my wife does everything i could ask for with no faults and no problems she is faithful to me but i am not faithful to her. I need this to stop. So i blocked the girls number and i deactivated my false facebook account. In the past i completely deleted my FB but i need this to be open so i will always know that what i did was wrong.. is there anyone else in my similar situation

Ive been with my wife for over 3 years and our jobs keep us away from each other for long periods of time and on my job theres this woman who is very tempting. We started talking one day in the office and one joke led to a laugh and the laugh turned into a loveual question and the loveual question turned into.... well love. I felt horrible after and just wanted to erase that day knowing that i couldn't.I saw my wife that night and felt so bad to even have the audacity to look her in the eyes and tell her that i loved her. Talk about low. That night we had great love but i could not sleep at all that night. I prayed to God to help me fight my urges and give me signs that i'm doing wrong so that i'll stop and not cheat and in the morning i felt better. I still see her at work and get tempted too, but i stop and dont talk to her. I can tell she's getting upset that i don't converse with her as much and i know she'll try to seduce me soon . I'm praying to God that she'll lose interest in me or find someone else soon because i really can't keep doing this. I mean the thrill and the rush of the secret love is amazing but after i can feel the Devil laughing and saying "You're getting closer and closer to me. Keep creeping on your wife." Urgh it makes me so angry that i've stooped so low as to have love with another woman and to throw my loving wife to the side like we're not even married. (Sigh) But as long as i have Jesus with me i know everything will work for the best. Pray for me guys.

I love my wife so much, but i cant stop cheating. every time I try and stop myself but I'm never able to overcome weekness. I was raised a christian but have never been able to over come this. Im only 24 years old and been married three and a half years. she is such a good woman and has decided to stay with me time and time again after coming clean, nd yet i still have not stopped. i dont want to tell her because i dont want to hurt her anymore and i want to stop. I have half heartedly turned to god everytime with little success.

My husband cheated on me. I gave him the option of an open relationship so it WOULDN'T be cheating, but he chose lies and to keep me manipulated and believing he was faithful so he could have his freedom and still possess me and keep me faithful. If you have so little respect for your wife to lie and cheat and potentially give her an incurable, potentially fatal disease, then damnit, be a man and leave! If you are so insecure that you have to have a woman around who loves you, but you are incapable of an open, loving, honest relationship, and want to have love without consequence to shore up your flagging manhood,then you are a just a spoiled, selfish child who doesn't deserve a good woman. I hope she finds out and dumps you! Period.

You can make your own fate, and you are the master of it. You are strong enough to know this and make the decisions in life to reinforce that manner of strength. Remember that no matter how much you love your wife, the best relationship you should ever have is the one you have with yourself. And truth is, before you confuse the two, know that at the bottom, you DO love your wife. And knowing this you will honour yourself with the fortitude to resist anything that will damage your own self esteem. In the meantime dont stress about what your wife has done to forgive you, because if you genuinely like yourself, through proper action, you will automatically respond in kind to the grace that she is willing to lend you. Her love is unconditional. Yet this is part of our self concept that we struggle with in life -more than our own temptations. You have a higher self which does not lie, listen to it and you will do what is right. You already know what it is.

Hello, Yes me and my wife have been married for only 4 years and i have cheated with two different girls... And it kills me that i have done that because i love her so much... I know i cant change what i have done but i want to change the future, i dont want to lose my wife she is so good to me and shes a great mother to our 3 year old daughter..... I have a strong sexual desire, but my wife does not, so needless to say when i meet someone who has this same desire i jump on it.... Maybe praying and asking for forgivness will help me so thats what im going to do.... Thank you for your post and hopefully things will change for me ....

Hello, I am also a victim of a really BAD sexually drive. I have a gorgeous wife and 2 beaultiful kids. i been married for 7 years and just cant stop cheating on my wife. Its like the older i get the easier it is to meet women and have sex with them. Before i meet my wife meeting girls and having sex with them was more like a hobby for me. And now that im married i just cant let it go. Its that Sexual drive when you first meet that girl for the first time and you wanna just F#CK the s**t out of her. lol. I know this sounds crazy but its like a mental thing of SEX thats takes over my brain and once its over, then its like nothing happen and on with the next. I guess for me its a easy thing to meet girls and have sex with them since im a handsome respectful gentlemen. I guess alot of the girls i meet think im this innocent guy but in reaity im just a horn DOG. I do need help and I WISH i could be normal and a great non cheating husband for my WIFE. To be honest my wife has caught me 1 time only because i told her and a couple more times by word of mouth from friends. Its amazing how she is still with me and only because she trully loves ME. I do love my wife but to be honest im not in love with her like she is with me. Im only still with her because of our kids but its not fair for her to be miserable while im enjoying the cake and the ice cream if you know what i mean. I think the main reason why i cheat on her is because im still looking for that RIGHT women that i could SAY I TRULLY LOVE. I guess i never felt being in love before so i still meet different ladies and see if they are the one? All i must say is people think its easy to stop and to be a good boy but in reality its not. Its hard. If anybody has any solutions or just wanna write to me heres my email riveradotjoseph16 - at - Yahoo! Thanks for your time.

i love my wife so much, but can't help sleeping with other women. i don't know why, it's not just one night stands, i end up getting involved with the other women and it goes wrong because i won't leave my wife. i have no intention of leaving her...ever. just can't understand why i behave like this!!!!

First of all, wtf??? Can't any of you spell correctly?
Second, cheating on your significant other isn't a sin. It's just biology. We are biologically driven to partner with many different people. The problem is that this conflicts with our moral/religious codes established and reinforced by society. Just because they are established beliefs does not make them correct, but going against them can cause emotional turmoil.
From personal experience- I love the hell out of my wife. I also love other women. If society allowed me to share this information with my wife, I would. But the reality is that if I did, it would cause all kinds of emotional and marital discord. (note, if you cheat on your spouse, have a big enough conscious not to mess with their head just because you feel guilty).
I want to stay with my wife. I want to have a relationship with her. I don't want to live with another woman. I just want to date other people. Just like every other married guy out there.
We expect to get married and cut ourselves off from the opposite sex for the rest of our lives, and this simply is not realistic. It is as absurd as choosing a best friend, and not letting your best friend ever have/make any other friends. It is simply jealous behavior. To the women who have cheating husbands- talk to them about it. Do you like being around them? Are they intimate with you? Do they share the deep things in their soul with you? Then stay with them. If they are an all around ass, get the hell out. The problem with sexual fidelity isn't the sexual part, it's the concealment from your partner that hurts the relationship. Treat each other with respect, and don't hold each other to impossible standards. Life is too short. And please, learn how to spell.

Well JP u talk a lot of BS... u wanna have a cake and eat it 2. ONLY animals fu... around that's animal instinct that's the different between animals and human beings!!!! Women and men are not made to have a lot of love partners we need more then love and men can stay faithful 2 one partner it's about choices retard and not biological. One Idiot once have said men need more women ...BS BS BS ...why do you think we get STD when we have love with many ppl? And u get STD not only through intercourse u get it through oral love 2 and jp you are retarded and i'm sorry for your Wife and she better should get tested for STD and you smart guy should go and educate yourself before you talk a lot of BS ....cheating is a choice and not biological....divorce your Wife if u don't wanna stay faithful to her and educate yourself about MARRIAGE AND COMMITMENT AND IF U LOVE YOUR WIFE YOU DON'T CHEAT ON HER AND RISK YOUR WIFE'S LIFE BY PASS ON STD THAT U MIGHT CAUGHT FROM SOME OTHER WOMEN. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE JP IF MARRIAGE AND FAITHFULNESS ARE SO IMPOSSIBLE THEN WHY BE MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE??? JP really one thing u need to know everybody is looking for love trust and commitment and the thing is once they have it and found that one person they just STOP pursue they wives or husbands and think the grass is greener on the other side and while u reward the new piece of ass who never did a damn thing for you... you dishonor and disrespect your Wife and abuse her feelings and worth and self esteem now that is better right? remember your Wife sacrificed a lot to please you she sacrificed HER BODY to GIVE BIRTH TO YOUR CHILD she gave up HER CARRIER so you can have yours so PLEASE DON'T COME ON HERE AND TALK ABOUT CHEATING IS OK CAUSE ITS NORMAL !!!!!! You consider being on a animal standard instead of being on a human level

I agree with your premises JP. I know it is possible to love more than one person. Deeply.
I think that society & frameworks can sadly, constrain our living, that some people are okay with living that way and that is okay too. I think sometimes I live that way though and i'm not okay with it but, those conflict are hard to bend within, particularly if other people in your life don't think the same way.
I think the whole area is a minefield in that there is a lot to be said for maintaining your respect for the relationship and still letting your partner know that even if you are with other women loveually or otherwise you will always desire her and protect what you have.
Cheating is enacted for a variety of reasons, desire just one (which is something I think after recent reflection men generally, genuinely do struggle with). Which I think is something people tend to forget or oversimplify for the sake of ease or something. Things are rarely that simple. You might just *click* with someone else, they might be providing you with something you need (not necessarily love), or you might be looking for an out.
For myself I had told my husband he was free to sleep around so long as he was open with me, that our relationship and our communication remained as special. He never understood this notion.
In the end it was the deception and betrayal and the idea that he deliberately let me know that I was less desirable to him than the woma/en he chose, that hurts more that the act of love. It is the manureting all over the existing relationship and what we had together that upset me.
But I think he had an affair as an exit strategy - to end our relationship and to move on himself - not because he struggled overly with desire or being loveually faithful. He knew it would be a deal breaker if he did things that way and so he did it to hurt me.
Clear as reading in a hurricane? "Welcome to the inner workings of my mind."

I want to stop cheating on my wife, but as mentioned in the post, I feel very guilty after this happens , but the guilt passes away and then the desire is there again... I have tried prayer , but each time I hold out a little longer, but again succumb to temptation... please help with suggestions... I honestly want to stop doing this ....

My story is no much different than the others on here. I have a lovely wife who cares for me and adores me, yet over our 18 years together, I have been repeatedly unfaithful. She is aware of several of this incidents and continues to forgive me. I know I do not deserve her forgiveness and I fear that if I tell her the truth about what I have done, she will leave me. I know I deserve whatever fate I am dealt and that she should know so she can decide if she wants to be with me based on who I REALLY am. I am striving to be a better person. The guilt that I carry with me is overwhelming. I want to stay with my wife and I want to be true to her. Please help me find a way through this. I love my wife and she deserves to have a faithful and loving husband. Please, I ask on bended knee to help me save my life and my marriage.

I have been married for over 16 years now but cant stop looking at other woman, my wife thinks I am a saint and loves me to bits but I have very little feelings for her. I appreciate her and dont want to hurt her but am not in love with her. What can I do to make myself change?

Thanks
Paul

I am a wife and i am 25 years old, married with my cheating husband for 4 years and we have a 3 yr old daughter. I caught him red handed cheating on me and forgave him and concidered going to marriage counceling. But i just caught him again. Some chick left him a sexy voice mail and i am just devastated.
He swears he loves me, but how can you say you love someone and you cheat on them. I told him i didn't want to do the marriage counceling anymore and that its over but he was begging for another chance. I am a christian and gosh i am such a forgiving person and so naive sometimes too nice because people take advantage of my kindness...especially my husband! Neways i was wondering why my husband cant stop cheating on me and i am very happy to find this website, it definitely helped me a little. Please guys stop cheating on you partner. If you know you cant be faithful just leave them. It will hurt but not as much as being cheated on.

yes i am going through the same thing. i keep getting temted and temted over and over again. my wife is 900 miles away so its kinda easy for me to do it but damn it sucks and i want to stop

i am a wife that has been cheated on and i will tell you from my perspective it is the most awful thing that has ever happened to me. i love my husband but i don't ever think that things can be the same again in a relationship. if you are going to cheat, then i would suggest getting out of the relationship because you will just end up hurting yourself or the other person. it ruins the sanctity of the relationship and you will never have what you once had.

i too have this same problem, i need help. i can't admit this to my girlfriend because it will shatter her, and i truly do love her. i am afraid though, i am afraid of loving her too much or completely and losing myself all over again. i have never felt the same towards love after my last girlfriend. that was the knife through the heart that left a hole still unfilled. i can't deny the best moments though years after this happened i finally felt ready to share my love with someone, but it turns out i can't. i thought i could but i still hold back. now i cheated on her for the first time, i gave in to temptation and it wasn't like i couldn't walk away, i just didn't walk away i wanted it to happen and i kne it was wrong. help me.

all i can say is it is not worth it to cheat.. i lost everthing. 23 years of marriage and my children will not talk with me... if i could start all over again i would stay on the straight and narrow road..... the guilt and shame is endless..... dont do it....

i've lost everything because of my sexual appitite and even in my emptiness i still struggle. i am so disgusted with myself i can hardly look at myself in the mirror. reading what you wrote helped, but my guilt and shame hasn't left. im trying so hard to forget it and move past my mistakes, but i get these urges that seem so powerful, they override any sense of responsibility i have to loved ones or even my own checkbook. why can't i stop

in life, we each have needs we must have met; our needs are not all the same, though needs to grow and to be intimate with some one as a means to share this growth are fundamental. such needs can be denied in a number of ways, the first being our fear to communicate them openly to our spouse. my view is that brutal honesty is the only way, first with ourselves. we all must make choices in our lives. if you are not getting what you need from your relationship, you must communicate this first, as clearly as possible. my view is that this is an opportunity for mutual growth. aside from this, there is is no simple recipe. in my case, i was not getting what i needed sexually from my wife. she and i talked. she told me it would be ok for me to have sex with other women, as long as i didn't make emotional connections, as long as i was safe, and as long as she didn't know about it. whatever the outcome, a straight talk was the only choice i had.