Help me please!
I'm 25 years old, educated, and have one child with my current boyfriend of 3 years. We've had our ups and downs and I blame most of our downs on him because he was still communicating with his ex girlfriend behind my back and just last month I found a message in his phone about how he wanted to meet up with this girl that he used to date before his last ex girlfriend. Mind you we no longer live together so I don't know what else has been going on. I know he loves me and know he hasn't cheated on me but isn't flirting and reminiscing with you ex's cheating? Anyway I decided to be more open and not turn down every guy that tries to talk to me, because I just completely shut my whole social out since I've been with him and clearly he hasn't! So one random day at the mall I meet this very well mannered, extremely handsome, and successful man. He lured me into Chis store, immediately I got butterflies, hot and shy! Lol he looked me in the eyes and all I could see was golden honey! Like seriously! His eyes are beyond gorgeous so as he is talking to me I m just smiling, flirting a little, and so was he! He then says I would give you my number but I ran out of business cards immediately I thought of rejection! UGHHHH why me!!!! So I gave him the your lame smirk and proceeded to walk out of the door he stops me and says give my partner your email address, so I did, thinking it was for promotional purposes. That next morning I check my email and his partner says Hello this is ______ and ______wanted me to relay his phone number! I was STOKED! Let s call him JOE for now Lol so we met up a couple times, it was nice and I got overwhelmed with emotions and just realized that this was my other half! I told him about my bf and child and I was completely honest about everything. So as were talking, Joe tells me his biggest turn on is a mentally strong woman, not necessarily the outward appearance! Im thinking like damn all my life my looks and intellect have gotten me what I want and this time itss different! We have a lot In common, our b-days re 1 day apart, and love the same food, etc. So over the course of two or three weeks all I could think about was Joe and how he treated me like queen when I was around him, even though I only saw him like 2 or 3 times! I knew he had interests in other women but that didnt matter! I just knew I wanted him and wanted to win his heart! This is when I tried to break it off with boyfriend of 3 years. Joe is a big texter so he would text me every morning and sometimes throughout the day and always at night before he went to sleep. I was already showing signs of weakness according to him because he kept making plans with me then canceling them I felt like he was playing games and I hated that I wasted my time. So I then Text him am tell him I cant do this anymore and that I hope all is well for you in your future! Basically cutting him off.So FINALLY he texts me back and pleads and begs and calls me like 3-4 times trying to make it better and explained that I needed to be patient with him. BIG MISTAKE because as soon as I did that I felt weak in the sense that I wasnt able to be that girl that is there for him no matter, and that I was needy! So a week ago I went out for drinks with one of my girl friend and invited him. He came we all chatted and had a blast! He then invites us to his house! His house beautiful I might add! So my friend and I got comfortable, we decided to watch a movie! So Im lying on the couch with my friend and he sits beside us! Too make a long story short my friend and I started kissing and feeling on each other! Lol I know dont ask! But anyway I keep telling him to kiss her just so that he wouldnt feel excluded and plus I thought it would be fun! Any way so we leave to go home and my friend is like Nina I don't think he is good for you because he grabbed my ass and tried me when you stepped out of the room! Immediately I felt betrayed! That night I foolishly text him again saying don't ever call me again! And how I couldn't believe that he would try to feel on my best friend! So he replys back My eyes got big because I wasn't expecting that! So I kept texting him and asked him why he did that and his reply was He was confused! And that I told him to have fun and kiss her and all this other stuff! UMM he was pretty much right! Again, I felt like a failure! I texted him the next day but no response and haven't heard from him since! Ive cried, prayed, and thought about a million things to do to make him want me again or just open back up to me again at least! My family is like stay with my current boyfriend and work things out! But my heart still throbs and aches for him! Im wondering if he has moved on??? If I turned him off??? Will we ever communicate again???? Please help me!!!!!!!!! Should I just give up???